Pure Joy

One Of Those Days...

2012-01-04T14:25:00.001-06:00

Christmas Play

2011-12-20T18:43:00.001-06:00

I didn't have a chance to play with my new camera to get better photos in dark areas. What puzzles me is that the one photo shot outside is grainy. Hmmm....

These are some of the photos I took of my angels this Sunday. The kids in our church had a Christmas play. My kids, Kindergarten and First graders, were angels.

Our room have black lights so we had a lot of fun once everyone was in costume.

Mr Liam didn't want to get back far enough to glow, but he manage to make a face every time I took a picture.

We moved to a new room to pray and wait to go downstairs.

All my pictures are blurry. =( This one was the most clear and grr if it doesn't have Pastor Jonathan's head in it. Notice Kaitlyn Joy on her knees in the center of the sheep.

Here's my black lamb. She's ready for her debut with Teen Mania's Ministry Team; all dressed in black. =)

Happy Birthday Jesus

2011-12-18T20:50:00.000-06:00

Friday was Kaitlyn Joy's school Christmas party. I tried to get there early to help set up, but was held up on the drive to the school then again in the hallway by this....

I find it funny that Kj quickly found her friend Landon in this photo, but not herself.

All of their party hats, plates, napkins, and bags say, "Happy Birthday Jesus".

School Birthday Party

2011-12-18T19:47:00.000-06:00

Ahhhhh.... This week has been busy. On Thursday I went to the school with cookies for Kaitlyn Joy's birthday. Her party was the third of the week; donuts and cupcakes had been done so we had cookies. I thought about taking fruit and would have if I had seen a fruit tray at Walmart the evening before. On a side note anything we take has to be store bought. I'm not supposed to prep any of it. I'm going to put all the photos I took below. There's really nothing to them other then the kids eating their treats on Cinderella plates while drinking their juice boxes. Parties at school are held over their snack time which is from 9-9:15. It's less of a party and more of a special snack time. I did find it comical that some of the kids used their Cinderella napkin as a place mat. One of the boys wanted a different plate; one more boy-ish. =)

In this photo I just want to point out the lovely angels in the background; I cut those out. =) I'm on the Parents Auxiliary and we do a lot of random projects for the teachers. My hand was aching after this one. I cut out about 64 angels. Had I known they were going to fold the sides around into a tube I wouldn't have worked so hard to make it just like the demo and double cut between the wings and "skirt".

For those who are counting, two kids were absent and one child in these photos was expelled later in the day.

New Creation

2011-12-15T18:55:00.000-06:00

Today Kaitlyn Joy and I were talking about Heaven. She threw out a blanket statement saying everyone goes to Heaven. I told her (again) only people who ask Jesus into their hearts to be their Lord and Savior go to Heaven. We talked about it for a moment and for the first time I asked her if she had asked Jesus into her heart. She said no. I asked her if she wanted to and she said yes.

Nine days before her fifth birthday Kaitlyn Joy asked Jesus to be her Lord and savior. I've been waiting for this day for a long time. Every night, since last March perhaps, she prays about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and raising from the dead on the third day. She always ends it by telling God we love Him. I knew before long something would click. That day has come.

Boob Job

2011-12-14T21:10:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, something inspired me to sing so I started with "I want a boob job for Christmas..." Kaitlyn Joy laughed at first then as I remembered different bits of the song she finally told me I was embarrassing her. When we got home I played the song for her. She loved it! Every time it was over she would ask to hear it again.

Oh, one tidbit I left out... I informed her she owes me a new set of girls one day. I want them standing up not being held up. She said I didn't need new girls. I informed her I want them returned to their pre-pregnancy state. I believe it was after this discussion she said I was embarrassing her.

After our chat and listening to the song a couple times I decided it was time to put up my lovely Christmas collection. Enjoy.

And by the way, I don't want a hippo for Christmas, but wouldn't mind some perky girls. =)

White Christmas in Houston

2011-12-12T21:22:00.000-06:00

First Time Bowling

2011-12-12T13:22:00.000-06:00

When we lived in England Neal and I used to go bowling with our neighbors a lot, as well as his office whenever someone was leaving. However, we've never been now that Kaitlyn Joy is old enough to try it. This post is LATE in coming, but I thought I would share a couple photos from when we went bowling last August.

Waiting her turn

Eyeing her pins

Lisa was there too. However that ball doesn't look favorable for her.

Etsy Window Shopping

2011-11-29T18:46:00.001-06:00

Do you ever just like to pull up Etsy and check out what you are missing?

These were made by Perini Designs

These are made by Perini Designs

These are made by Silver Mania Studio

These are made by Silver Mania Studios too

These are made by Popsicledrum

These are made by Cute Jewels

You Won!

2011-11-19T21:56:00.000-06:00

While talking on the phone with Neal tonight we told him all about Sea World. Kaitlyn Joy didn't care to see any of the shows. She actually fought to not see the first one. She wanted to go on a ride. I told her we would do it after the show. Shortly after it began she LOUDLY declared she had to go to the bathroom. With a red face and tears streaming down she persisted. I knew what she was doing so I told her if we leave she wouldn't be getting the ride. She kept on. It was AWFUL! We finally left for a bathroom. Ugh!!! She finally got over herself.
She would have been completely content to feed the dolphins and pet the sting rays all day. I didn't want to buy the fish to feed the dolphins, but somehow she conned someone into giving her one. You should have seen her running back and forth trying to get a dolphin to come up. She finally got her chance and petted a dolphin. They tell you to dangle the fish, pet he dolphin, than throw the fish into it's mouth.

Right after getting on the phone with Neal I told him there was a wet t-shirt contest and I won. Yes, mom I said the same to you. Neal complained that he wasn't there for it. Suddenly, Kj asked if she won too. I said no, but hesitated at how to finish that. I mumbled about her not wearing a white shirt. She ran her hands over her chest and down her belly while commenting on her wet shirt and again asking if she won the wet t-shirt contest. I said, "Yes, you won. You were amazing." =)

Why Not?

2011-11-17T22:22:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you shouldn't ask why. Today Kaitlyn Joy and I were at Toys R Us looking for a birthday gift. In Kj's book we couldn't buy just anything; we HAD to buy something Cars AND something Spiderman. Now how do you get something with both of those themes? We did it and I'm sure by 11am tomorrow when Kj is getting off the playground Landon will know exactly what he is getting.

Anyway, while walking down some of the isles I spotted one of the new little Lalaloopsy dolls; three actually. Hold on, stop the train! Those are REALLY hot right now.

I threw this little girl in the cart and headed for a price checker. Isn't she cute? Her name is Squirt Lil' Top. Websites are selling out of these shortly after posting them. I found a price checker and just like I thought... she's $19.99. Right now the bigger girls are on sale for $19.99 at Toys R Us. I put her back. Why did I want her? Sometimes you shouldn't ask why. Let's say "just because" or "why not?"

Today while out shopping with Kj I would see different things like a purse or necklace and think, "perhaps I should buy that for myself for Christmas." Hey, why not?! Miss thing isn't going to buy it for me. If it was up to Kj Neal would be getting some Batman toy that has ramps and cars. I do believe she uses him as an excuse to get boy toys. Perhaps on our next trip I'll pick myself up a new camera, they have gotten better since we bought ours. I would really like it to take the picture faster so there's less chance for it to be blurry. Or perhaps I'll get that embroidery machine I was supposed to get for my anniversary gift. Hehehe... Now the question is should I wrap them and put them under the tree? Do I act surprised when I open them? LOL... Coming back to the real world, I think embroidery machines are fun, but they cost to much to not use them on everything. I doubt I would ever feel like I got my money out of it. Not to mention the cost of all the thread that I would have to fight myself to buy. Yeah, I'm cheap. As for the camera, that is something I'm keeping my eye on for Black Friday sales, but I'll wait if I don't find one. It's not that big of a deal. Eventually... Oh,what was that DS game I had my eye on yesterday? I need to figure out what ad I was looking at and which game would look amazing under my tree. Hehehe...

Alright this keeps pausing making typing painfully slow. You might have heard more randomness about our day if it would be working right.

Mom Of A Leader

2011-11-13T16:22:00.004-06:00

God has made us all different. Some He made followers and others He made leaders. Kaitlyn Joy is a leader. She's not just any leader, but a strong one. She's not just going to lead a crew at a fast food place, but one day she might just be leading young people onto the mission field, a youth leader, or leading missions into space. We have been talking about the latter one from time to time. Right now she's really into space, the planets and shooting stars.
God gave leaders a strong will. They have to have it to press in when many would want to give up. It helps them succeed. However, many people can see a strong willed child as spoiled. They couldn't be more wrong. A strong willed child may really want something and tell you why; their answer may only be "because". A spoiled child will demand you give it to them now and their spineless parent will comply. A spoiled child isn't necessarily a leader. They've just learned how to manipulate. A leader will find ways to serve people or have them work together in a group. A spoiled child is someone who can grow up dependant upon their parents for everything. A leader can stand on their own two feet. One of my biggest frustrations has been people, mostly family, who feel like Kj is a brat because she's strong willed. They will say things about her as if the very words taste bitter. Until they learn the difference between a spoiled and a strong will child as well as a leader and a follower, I guess there's not much I can do. Well, other then avoid them. I don't want my child suffering from their ignorance.
God gave me Kj for a reason. He knows I can handle her. He knows that I'm smarter then to crush her spirit. Kj is a child, not a horse. It's not my job to crush her into being what I want her to be. I have to carefully guide and direct her. Hopefully I do a great job and she learns how to be a wonderful leader. If I break her spirit she could grow up lost and always searching for who God wants her to be. Worse yet, she might not fulfil what He has for her. I would have to answer to Him for that. On that same note, anyone who negatively comments on Kj being strong willed is saying they disagree with God's plan. You don't look at the clay sitting on the potters wheel and chastise it for not looking like a pot. Instead you mold and shape it into a pot.
I'm sure I will slip up and say I'm the mother of a strong willed child, but from now on I will say I'm the mother of a leader. If you don't like it, it really doesn't matter. God made her who she is. She may have been conceived after man put all the ingredients into a petri dish, but only God could breathe life into her.

Perhaps, when you're ready to get frustrated at Kj or some other child this is a good song to keep in mind...

Military...

2011-11-10T16:41:00.000-06:00

Recipe for a Military Spouse
1 1/2 cups Patience
1 cup Courage
3/4 cup Tolerance
dash of Adventure
1 pound of Ability
To the above ingredients: Add 2 tablespoons elbow grease and let stand alone for one year. Marinate frequently with salty tears. Pour off excess fat and sprinkle ever so lightly with money then Knead dough until payday. Season with international spices. Bake 20 years or until done. Makes unlimited servings
SERVE WITH PRIDE

EDIT: After trying this recipe out I've learned there was a typo. It needs at least 2 cups of Elbow Grease, not tablespoons. I've also found it's better if you top it with 1/2 cup of Patriotism.

A Military Wife in the Army of One
You aren’t issued with the uniform, boots and weapon,
But you are one lady no one should step on.
It usually goes “With this ring, I thee wed,”
But add in “Even if it means me in an empty bed.”
“and the weeks in the field with many late nights,”
“which will at some point lead to fights.”
Yes, a military wife is courageous and strong,
Even when the days seem so long.
When you feel like you’re at your wits end,
You “Suck it up” and start to mend.
You learn the Army language,
All those acronyms, “How can I manage.”
PX, AAFES, LES, MOS - the list goes on and on,
All those letters would make an ordinary woman yawn.
But those letters are part of your life,
The life of a proud military wife.
You move too much and decorate too little,
Because you always seem to leave in the middle.
Don’t get too settled and make lots of friends
Because home is wherever the Army sends.
And then one day the orders come down,
Your husband soon will be leaving town.
“Up to 365 days or until mission complete”
You know your heart just skipped a beat.
You stare at the orders in front of you,
This was a possibility you always knew.
Now life takes on new meaning
And the tears start streaming.
You hug each other tight and kiss farewell,
How you feel, words could never tell.
You go back to an empty home,
And try not to sit by the phone.
You wait, wonder and worry,
And hope this year goes by in a hurry.
Things are different now.
You’ll do things you once did not know how.
Yellow ribbons are a new accessory,
You make your outfit match- it is a necessity
You cry when the National Anthem is played,
And you get your child that much needed band-aid.
You have your daily chores, as always,
Except now you’re the only one to sweep the hallways.
You’re “IT”- the only one
But you do it and try to have fun.
You say your prayers and wish on a star in the sky,
When he’s back in your arms, you’ll forget the year that went by.
And you’ll think how strong you had become,
When you were truly the army of “one.”

~Letisha E Wheeler October 16, 2005~

LeapFrog LeapPad

2011-11-03T16:24:00.003-05:00

I've been debating which LeapFrog game system to get Kaitlyn Joy. My debate was between the Leapster Explorer and the LeapPad. The Explorer is cheaper, but a bit bulky. The Pad has a built in camera and is the newer model. Both use the same game cartrages. This week the games and the Explorer are on sale at Toys R Us. However, they have the Pad selling for the normal price, but with a game included.

Last night I went onto the TRU website to pay for everything in my cart. The game system had been removed. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! They were out of stock. It scanned all my local stores and said they were out too. You've got to be kidding me! I had it check my parents and grandmothers areas too and NOTHING! Well, SNAPdragons! I decided to just go buy the system without the extra game. Sure it wasn't as good of a deal, but we would have it. I went to TRU this morning and grabbed a purple LeapPad. A lady came up and took one too. While we stood there debating games a worker asked her if she needed any help. As he turned to walk away I decided to take a shot in the dark and ask if anywhere in that big store they had a random box of LeapPads with the Mr Pencil game. They of course didn't have a box of them, but they did have a bin in the center isle. Woohoo!!! When the guy said yes and asked me to follow him I turned to the lady and told her she better follow too. She was hesitant to follow until I told her a game was included in the box. She then pointed out the $10 gift card when spending $75 or more coupon in the ad. I didn't have my ad with me so I'm going back tomorrow to see if I can get the gift card. If they say no, I will return everything and buy it again with the coupon.

Right now the games at TRU are the cheapest I've seen. Target had them on sale for $19.99 a week or two ago. This week at TRU they are $18.74. I picked up Tangled which teaches spelling, reading skills, vocabulary skills, and creative expression. Simply being a Tangled game means she will love it.

The other game I bought was Tinkerbell and the Lost Treasure. It teaches addition, subtraction, multiplication and early algebra. The best part is, it's geared to her age.

It was hard picking games. They had a dinosaur game, Digging for Dinosaurs, she probably would go nuts over. Pixar Pals, looked great too; it features Nemo, Toy Story and Wall-E. It teaches ocean science, astronomy, logic and reasoning, and simple machines. Cars 2 and Pet Pals 2 would be a big hit too. *sigh* There are to many options. However, I love how they aren't just games. She will actually learn something when playing them. Oh, and online there is a game called Globe: Earth Adventures. It teaches about geography, world culture, map skills, and animal facts. I'm going to keep my eye out for that one in the stores. Right now Kj is fascinated by dinosaurs, outer space, and geography. She's actually really good with the latter. She informed me last month that she wants to move to Guam and pointed at it on our huge map. It's a tiny dot so I was impressed when she was within an inch from it. We don't "do" Dora, Kai-lan, Scooby Doo, The Princess & The Frog, nor SpongeBob so that narrowed down my options, but goodness it was still hard to pick. Right now they are doing a buy four games get the fifth one free, but you don't have to buy them all at the same time. Actually you have to wait on #5 until the voucher comes in the mail. I now have two on my TRU reward card. When I get the $10 gift card tomorrow, I might pick up another game. It would only cost me $8.74.

Edit: The coupon had a list of exlusions as long as your arm and electronical learning devices was one of them. =( I went ahead and bought her two new games because they were a great deal. I bought her Pet Pals 2 and Digging For Dinosaurs. I almost bought Pixar Pals instead. I figure if nothing else we should be having a free game voucher due us in 8-10 weeks so I can get it then.

Missing You...

2011-10-31T18:52:00.000-05:00

Do you ever wonder how things are in heaven? Today is Sarah and Andrew's due date. However, they were heaven born at the end of March. Does God have a womb area were embryos finish growing? I imagine if they had lived they would probably be about a month old by now. Kaitlyn Joy was an early bird so given that they were twins I'm sure an early entry would have been inevitable. Then again, I guess that's kind of what they did. Do you think people are what we consider "perfect" in heaven? We can see any limitations as disabilities. Does God? Is Andrew "normal" or is he still the same little guy with multiple chromosomes? Just because someone is different doesn't mean they are suffering.

I have been keeping my eyes open for just the right angel ornaments for the Christmas tree that goes in my room. I've debated painting them out of ceramic or wood. I've thought about crocheting some angels or sewing some rag dolls (angels). However, nothing fit. They just weren't right. Then while at Walmart I came across little teddy bear ornaments in pink/blue sweaters. Perfect! The bears remind me of the two we have for Sarah and Andrew. I bought six packages (24 bears). Well, eight because I bought two, one in pink and the other blue, before deciding to use them on the whole tree.

I wonder when the day will come that I don't think of the twins daily or as of since they entered our lives, multiple time a day?

I miss my babies.

"I want this for Christmas"

2011-10-16T21:50:00.002-05:00

EDIT: If it's in red that means someone said they bought it. I don't mean to be tacky, but I figure it's the best way to prevent the potential double gifting.

Kaitlyn Joy has an annoying "I want" habit. A couple months ago when she started in on wanting a toy I told her Christmas AND her birthday are to close for her to be asking me to buy her stuff. Soooo... it has changed to "I want this for Christmas!!!!" It makes me want to strangle her at times. Well, not really of course, but I do get tired of hearing it. When walking down the toy isle at any given store I can hear the phrase 6-8 times minimum. Ugh!
By the way for all who might be wondering just what Neal may like, he said money. He wants to buy his own handgun. It doesn't sound fun to me.

At one point I got tired of hearing what Kj wanted and decided to start taking pictures of her holding the items she likes. Below are some of the pictures I took a couple weeks ago.

She thought these slippers at JCP's were the greatest. Personally I thought they were over priced. She just liked that they were puppy slippers.

Is it a stuffed animal of a horse or a bag? Both I guess, but I'm not sure how much it can really hold. Every time we are at JCP she drools over them. She likes the little puppy purses they have too.

Right now anything My Little Pony (MLP) she likes. She has two partial McDonald's collections of MLP and that's about it.

Last week she chased me down the isle holding two packages of MLP that were on scooters I think. "Look Mommy LOOK! I want this for Christmas." Perhaps with these the big deal is her getting the best of both worlds, they are horses (ponies) and small.

Zhu Zhu Pet Castle
For some reason she really likes all the accessories for Zhu Zhu pets. Of course I do have a couple (hamsters) put away for her for Christmas; the two actually she held up in what would have been the next picture. I didn't post it because I've already bought them.

Ahhh, Barbie. She likes Barbie sets like this one. I know she held this one up because the Barbie is holding a couple dogs. There has been a commercial on with a condo/motor home(????), I don't know, that Barbie and her friends are hanging out in. The bed or couch flips over and makes a tub. What do I hear every time it comes on, "I want that for Christmas!"

Another want I hear a lot about are Littlest Pet Shop. She seems to like them because they were small.

One thing about Kj I've really noticed is that she will play with a free or $1 toy more then any others. She loves her Lego's. She has smaller ones that we bought her last year and she has some of the bigger chunky ones (1 1/2 to 5 years I believe) that a friend gave us that she got for free from the Airman's Attic. She LOVES them. She's always building a tower with the chunky ones. Her teacher has a treasure chest that she lets the kids dig into from time to time. Kj has come home with four little toys that she treats like they are the best thing since sliced bread. They are probably all 2"-3" at the most. She two dinosaurs, a turtle and most recently a lizard. Her four friends live in her Lego tower. =) I could spend $100 on a toy for her, but in the end it's the little things she likes the most.

Trust Again

2011-10-10T10:13:00.000-05:00

Wow, twice in one week someone talking about about something else brought up forgiveness and trust. This time it was my pastor talking about agape love. He was saying agape love freely forgives, then paused and said just because you forgive doesn't mean you trust the person. Trust is earned not given. He went on to say it's important we understand that because if we don't we may withhold forgiveness.

Trust

2011-10-06T19:14:00.000-05:00

Today I went to "Lunch with the Administrator" at Kaitlyn Joy's school. During their chapel, they are working on the fruits of the spirit all year and this month is Joy. At the beginning of her message she was talking about how the Bible calls us to forgive. She said because we really don't forget what happened we find ourselves having to forgive someone for the same thing many times. She then said just because we forgive someone doesn't mean we trust them. I think people can forget that sometimes. They expect trust to be freely given. She of course said what we already know and that's that trust is earned. So how is one to earn trust? Be trustworthy? Well of course, but just because you were FINALLY trustworthy today doesn't mean I should hand over my trust to you. Especially if you have a history of being untrustworthy. In that case you will have to daily prove yourself. What does this have to do with joy you ask???? To have full joy you must forgive people. However, those people can cause you grief because they expect your trust once you forgive them.

Wedding Etiquette

2011-10-05T22:41:00.000-05:00

I was talking with someone today and the topic of wedding etiquette came up. I don't mean how you should behave at a wedding, but all the pre-stuff the bride and groom chose to do. While looking up a couple different things about wedding etiquette it really got me reminiscing about people I know who have had issues with weddings they attended or were supposed to attend. I know ultimately all the decisions in a wedding are up to the bride and groom. Yes, it's their big day and the rest of us are just there to see the show. However, it's not always pleasant. One lady I know had a newborn within a month of her good friend's wedding. The bride declared the wedding and reception child free. The friend contacted the bride asking if she could take her newborn because she was breastfeeding him. The bride said no. It was her choice to do so, but frankly I think she's a jerk. Her suggestion was for her friend to get a hotel room (out of town wedding) and hire someone to sit in the hotel with the baby; that way she could slip out and feed the baby when needed. I never heard what she did. There's about a 98% chance, even if it were family, that I wouldn't go to a wedding if they said Kaitlyn Joy couldn't be there. We're a family and do everything together. It's the bride and grooms choice to not have them and it would be my choice not to go to their wedding.

I think the bride and groom forget how the wedding really isn't just about them. Sure the spotlight is on them, but that doesn't mean it's all about them. Weddings are supposed to be celebrations. I read something a couple months ago saying for the average guest it can cost them $500 to attend a wedding. Included in the cost are wedding attire, gifts, travel expenses, and lodging, if it's out of town. The price was even higher if you were in the wedding; I believe close to $1,000. The reason it is so much higher is because there are additional, pre-wedding, expectations. Of course this is the average. I've never paid that much, but weddings are pricey.

One issue we talked about was the role of family in your big day. Do you have them all in, pick and choose, or do you leave them all out? On a couple different sites the suggestions were to put immediately family in even if you don't know them well. One bride wanted to know if she needed to put the grooms sister in. The sister didn't live nearby so the bride has spent little time with her. The suggestion was to put her in because it could be bonding for you. Plus you don't want to create hard feelings before you even join the family. I won't share any details because I want to spare feelings, but Neal and I had a handful of family issues that we had to work out. Let me clarify, we never had one family member come to us with a complaint; although there may have been some. It was our behind the scene juggling I'm talking about. Well, there was one issue I will mention. Our wedding date was a problem. We were trying to figure out how to do the juggle of Neal starting a new job and his old job ending. We came up with two dates that worked best for us. His then current job said the first date didn't work for them, but they were good with the second date. That settled it. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law's brother picked the same date for his wedding. Because we live across the country from each other it was impossible for my SIL and nephew to be at our wedding. One article I came across talked about how there isn't a set rule on how many flower girls you can have. That really got me thinking. My cousin has three girls all just over a year apart. The middle one was in our wedding. Anyway, I was thinking how we could have had all three of them do it. Then I remembered how pricey flower girl dresses are and that would be a lot to ask one family to pay for. I don't remember if I talked with Aunt JoAnn about this, but one of the sites said you should speak with the family members who are parents of all eligible kids if you won't be using them in the wedding. Like with the bride not wanting the groom's sister in her wedding, the point in going to the parents is to create family harmony.

So the point of all my ramblings? I don't know I'm tired now and still typing. =)

V8

2011-10-05T16:35:00.000-05:00

Neal has been talking about V8 so I decided to give it a try. Now if you know me well you might just know if I REALLY don't like something I can't stomach it; it WILL come up. I decided to chill the bottle first hoping the colder it is the easier it will be to drink it. Yesterday I pulled it out, measured 8 oz (want to make sure I get my full serving) and prepared to drink it. Seeing how when you're congested you can't taste anything, I decided to pinch my nose while drinking it. I assumed I could get it down, but was worried about the after taste. I pealed a banana so it would clean my mouth and give me a pleasant taste after downing the drink. Being very careful not to smell the stuff I pinched my nose and started drinking. My first thought was how great it was that I couldn't taste it and the texture was okay. Then it happened. Almost immediately really. My stomach started heaving. I was arguing with myself that I couldn't taste it so why was I rejecting it???? My stomach said it didn't matter that what went down must come up. ((sigh)) In the middle of losing my drink I let go of my nose. Oh my goodness, bad move! I felt sick for the rest of the evening. Worse yet, ever so often I could taste the nasty stuff. So, V8 can go into the same category as tomatoes and coffee; things that make me vomit.

Song of the Air Force Wife

2011-09-14T09:32:00.003-05:00

I'm the wife of the "Man in Blue"
And I like the Air Force, too.
He's my joy and he's my pride
And I am his "Dependent Bride."

Yes, the "Man in Blue" made me his wife
And I joined him in his global strife.
I'll tell you now his wedding vow
With this barracks bag, I thee endow.

He said he'd show me all the world
And a magic carpet he unfurled.
The "Man in Blue" led a traveling life,
And I'd go along as his "Dependent Wife."

Now something seems to have gone awry
For all his journeys are TDY.
I stay at home like a good wife should
And learn the joys of motherhood.

I'm to the children both mother and father
Till I don't know whether I'm one or the other.
I work and worry both night and day
To keep things going while he's away.

I cope with things I never knew
And wait right here for my "Man in Blue."
Who can't understand just what in life
Has made me his "In-Dependent Wife."

Air Force Wife's Prayer

2011-09-14T09:32:00.000-05:00

An Air Force wife has so much to bear,
She's everything at once, no one could compare,
When God made her, he had perfection in mind,
For nowhere on Earth is another of her kind,

She leads a life not many would choose,
For her job is the hardest in the military to do,
She is courageous and strong, one would say made of steel,
But way deep down is a heart that can feel,

She stands by her husband, so proud and so tall,
And waits many nights by the phone for a call,
She's Mommy and Daddy all rolled into one,
She'll never rest easy until her job's done,

She sits all alone and in silence she cries,
Did I do a good job, is my family all right?
But deep in her heart she knows that it's true,
God is right beside her helping her through.

by Alexandra Benakis

Memory Verses

2011-09-10T21:33:00.002-05:00

When trying to help Kaitlyn Joy to remember a memory verse or most anything for that matter, I sing it. I had to get over my pride a long time ago. I'm always puzzled by parents who are to embarrassed to sing or dance in front of your kids; ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE LITTLE!!! Just think about it, she doesn't have anything else to compare me to. As far as she's concerned I do it right and the rest of you are freaks. Hehehe... Here she is tonight singing her new memory verse.

Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Genesis 1:31

By the way, I wanted to say we don't make a habit of filming while she's on the toilet and even though that's true, I'll shoot video almost anywhere she's decent. =)

*Remember to scroll down to the bottom and pause the music so you can hear the video.

Cleaning

2011-09-04T18:07:00.000-05:00

You mess it up you clean it up! She helped clean her tub too.

These photos were actually taken back in July.

BDU Backpack

2011-08-12T00:08:00.000-05:00

Another school year is upon us and Neal is deployed. I decided to take an old pair of his BDUs (battle dress uniform aka camo) and make Kaitlyn Joy a backpack. Her toadstool backpack still looks great and I'm sure she'll take it this year as well, but I really wanted to make her a camo one with all her daddy's patches on it. I looked at backpack pattern and goodness they are costly. Who wants to pay $15.95 for a paper pattern that will probably only be used once? Not to mention paper patterns kick my tail. =) I ended up buying a preschooler backpack at a thrift store and ripping all the seams out so I could use it as a pattern. I did take some pictures at key points to make sure I put it back together right, but ended up not using them. I wrote on the backpack with a Sharpe where all the straps go, the side seams line up and how many seams to sew in certain areas. I finally got up the nerve and started cutting up the BDU top.

I took this photo as my reminder that I really need a chalk wheel. The washable pen wasn't working well on the dark fabric so I finally grabbed a stick of chalk. As you can see the BDU top in it's natural form was to wide for a preschool backpack so I popped off the buttons and folded one side under.

Because I was using a lightweight BDU I decided to line the backpack with canvas. I also took a cargo pocket off the BDU pants and put it on the inside of the backpack. It's HUGE, but when she's older and wanting to use the backpack as a random bag she will thank me for the pocket.

To make it easier to get both fabrics in and try to prevent covering all the raw edges like the demo backpack had, I zigzag stitched all the seams before sewing it together.

Ah, the zipper. Perhaps your Hancock Fabrics or other local fabric store carries backpack or luggage zippers, but mine didn't. I was able to buy a jacket zipper which had a pull at both ends. I decided I would try to get both zippers in the middle and if I failed I would just have one pull and I was fine with that. BTW, the two pulls are different, but honestly I don't care. They came with the zipper so I'm going to live with them.

Seeing how the end on the right had the runner going all the way to the edge I decided to take the pull of the end on the left. I cracked, cut, then finally melted the stopper off enough I could remove the pull. There was a slight bump on the zipper end on the right that I had to melt off to get the pull back on the zipper. I did a little victory cheer when I got the pull on. I had talked with the worker at Hancock's and debated if it was possible to make a backpack zipper out of a jacket zipper and now I can say yes, it can be done.

I zigzag stitched the ends until I knew where I would be cutting them off at. On a random note I ended up using my wood burning tool to shorten the end on the bottom. I then removed some of the green threads from the top end and replaced it with brown thread because part of it would be seen.

And here it is! The canvas actually makes it hold it's shape much better then I expected. One thing you can't tell here is the reused cording ended up being 1/2" to short. BTW, I reused the cording, but not the fabric on the outside of it. I used brown bias tape to cover the cording. To fix the 1/2" discrepancy I heated up the hot glue gun. Those things are awesome! They can fix anything. Okay they really aren't that great, but they are good to have on hand. I ended up making a line of hot glue, allowed it to partially dry, then I rolled it into a tube. It was to long and fat so a little snipping and finally it was ready.

When you use a garment to make something you don't always have the perfect strips of fabric. If you look at the top near the zipper you will see a seam. I actually had to put that in there while piecing the fabric. I'll tell you it's liberating to decide it's okay to piece the fabric.

I used the hardware from the demo backpack on the straps. Speaking of straps, if I only had a BDU top I would have bought straps. Because I had some pants to cut up I used them. I actually took the longest solid strip I could without crossing seams and it was 1.5" shorter then the demo. I did learn there are two layers on the rear of BDU pants. I took the extra piece of fabric off and had the perfect long strip of fabric.

The canvas made the backpack sturdy enough to stand up on it's own. I was impressed.

And here she is modeling it. It's a perfect fit. My only regret is that I didn't sew a BDU top pocket inside also. I almost did before sewing the back on, but I would have had to do it by hand. Boooo... When she's older and wanting to use the bag and needs a place for her cell phone I'll either do it then or give her a needle and thread to do it herself. Before you say she can just put her small items in one of the outside pockets let me say they are dummies. This BDU top was from the high starched era. The buttons and extra flaps of fabric didn't iron well. So we ripped two sides of the pocket off, removed the extra fabric (made with an expandable side) and the buttons, then sewed it back down. We also cut the hidden button hole flap off the top then sewed it shut. After it was all said and done the pocket patch was sewn through the pocket and shirt.

What A Day...

2011-08-06T21:09:00.003-05:00

Today was a sad day. Even after seeing the play Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs yesterday she still ate the apple. The police arrived and told me only Prince Charming can wake her up.

Neal come home! Kj needs her daddy to wake her up. =)

**photos were actually taken last week**

1-2-3 Smile!

2011-07-31T10:44:00.000-05:00

"Kaitlyn Joy let's take a picture of you for Daddy. Smile!"

This wasn't quite what I had in mind.

His reply to her...

Nap Please!

2011-07-29T08:30:00.000-05:00

Last night was really long and has left me tired. First off I went to bed late. Now, going to bed late isn't the end of the world or it shouldn't be. However, Maggie was barking to the tune of "I want to die! I want to die" last night. Okay I really think she was saying "I want to snuggle", but all that was lost in the delivery. I guess Sadie had enough of the barking because she was saying "I'm out of here!" This time there was no misunderstanding the delivery because she delivered herself into my room twice. Ugh! Twice I had to go put her back in the pen. Not cool. Now I just want a nap. I bet I would have to do it with a dog on my chest.
Maggie has a quirk that she doesn't want to go potty before eating. I don't want her going in my house so I make her go out to potty while I get her food. She again sang "I want to die" while I went for her food. It's not that I want to beat her, but screaming is tempting. If I don't put her back out right after she eats she will leave "prizes" on the carpet for me. Lovely.

Nap... NAP! I NEED a nap ASAP.

80/20

2011-07-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

I watched Why Did I Get Married Too recently and the one thing that really stuck out to me was their talk about 80/20. For those who haven't seen the movie the 80% is your satisfaction with your marriage and if you decided 80% isn't enough, the 20% is what you trade it for. In the movie one of the husband's decides the grass is greener on the 20% side. It doesn't take long before he realizes he got the short stick in the deal. He wants his 80% back, but it's to late. Now given that you are in a healthy - non abusive - relationship the 80/20 makes sense. When I hear of people wanting to split because their spouse's quirks just irk them to much I always think if they get married again they are only trading one set of quirks for another.

Alright, I'm not really sure where I'm headed with all this. I guess when married it's good to remember 80/20 during the rough times. It's not an even trade. Work it out!

Swimming Lessons - Check!

2011-07-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

We've had a month of swimming lessons and if I'm honest I have to say I'm glad they are behind us. Kaitlyn Joy really enjoyed them; it was me who wanted the break. Ugh... the first two weeks I had to sit in the 100+ heat at 5pm. Thankfully the last two weeks were at the cool 8am. Session one had ten kids and one constant lifeguard with three rotating lifeguards. I hated it. I felt like we weren't getting what we paid for. Kj didn't have must time with a lifeguard. Session two though had her spending a LOT of time with the lifeguard. On the first day no one else showed up and every day afterwards there were only 2-3 kids in the class.

This is how she rolls; mouth under and eyes above water.

She mastered floating on her back!

Kicking with the crew. This seemed to be her favorite thing to do.

188

2011-07-11T22:45:00.001-05:00

It's time to buy some sand toys because Neal is on his way to the sandbox (Middle East). He's in Washington right now taking care of last minute things then he's flying out.

Crazies

2011-07-08T22:31:00.000-05:00

Maggie... Goodness that dog blends right into our family. Actually Sadie and I seem to be the only two normal ones in the house. If you remember back in November I talked about speaking crazy. Well, welcome our new crazy, Maggie, into the house. She twitches and makes noises in her sleep. Crazy dog! A couple nights ago Kaitlyn Joy was screaming when she should have been sleeping. Neal started to run check on her, but I stopped him and said she sounded like she was asleep. He caved and went to her. She was sitting up in bed yelling all while sleeping. I wasn't surprised.
By the way, Maggie already has Neal wrapped around her curly tail. She spends as much time as possibly in his lap and he doesn't seem to mind. She's sleeping there right now actually. I might have a problem come Sunday when he flies out of here for over six months. Just watch, I'll have to carry her everywhere. I have given Kj a bath with Maggie in my lap.

As for my other two crazies, here's there night...

That's all folks!

Home Again - Home Again...

2011-06-29T11:23:00.000-05:00

...Jiggity Jig. Neal came home on Sunday after spending three weeks doing pre-deployment training. Because of different training going on he has been gone four of the last six weeks. When I picked him up on Sunday I had a little "Oh my" moment when I realized I would be back there in two weeks to drop him back off for his six month deployment. Honestly I think it's a shame they couldn't roll the two training missions and the deployment all together. At least that way we would only say bye once. On Saturday morning Kj ran into my room to Neal's side of the bed and asked, "Where's Daddy?" I'm not sure why she thought he was coming a day early. Perhaps she mixed up him coming with Nana and Papa?

Last week we had a couple visitors. Mom and Dad were out of town so we watched their dogs. It made life interesting. Oh, perhaps I should start with two weeks ago yesterday we adopted a Maltese we named Maggie. A day and a half after getting her I headed to my parents place to pick up their two dogs. I just knew Kensey would eat Maggie. I was quite surprised when all the dogs easily meshed together. I've spent a lot of time saying, "Kaitlyn Joy, put Maggie down (don't pick her up, leave her alone)!" And probably equal amounts of time saying, "Kensey, be nice (stop growling, get away)!" I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Kensey's not being nice!" while he's growling. To a point I think his aggression to Kj played in Maggie's favor. Kj would go to pick Maggie up or do some other shenanigan with her and Kensey would run up and show his teeth. On Saturday Mom and Dad came for their two. I've lost my buffer of a growling dog to protect Maggie, so I have to keep an even closer eye on her and Kj.

VBS

2011-06-15T11:15:00.002-05:00

I'm really not trying to ignore you guys. We have been super busy which then leaves us crazy tired. Last week our church has VBS. Oh my goodness it was fun and for being only three hours it seemed REALLY long. I had to remind myself later that we only had the kids for three hours, but it really felt more like five. We spent a lot of time outside playing different sports. Thankfully the two directors had the foresight to supply each age group with color coordinating shirts. The adults wore black shirts and the kids wore either red (Kj's color), green, orange, or blue; all with the VBS logo. Originally I thought it was a bit much, but once all the kids were there I saw the need for the shirts. When they let ALL the kids out for 20 minutes of free play I was about to panic. Thankfully the 100+ kids all stayed in the same general location without a problem. The three hours wore Kj out so much that on Wednesday when I put her in her room for quiet time she slept for five hours. When she woke up she said she accidentally slept in her clothes. She then asked if we were going to church. Hehehe... I realized she thought it was the next day. I told her she had only taken a nap and she corrected me saying, "No, I slept!"

At the end of the week we had a 5k family ~~fun~~ run/walk. I did a lot of debating about doing the 5k. I wasn't sure if Kj could or would do the whole thing. I was picturing myself having to carry her. I thought about taking her bike, but knew she would even get tired riding that. I considered bringing her stroller, but knew she would ride more then walk simply because it was there. In the end I threw a small bag on full of granola bars and brought along two water bottles. In the end I don't think we really needed any of this, but it was nice having the extra water with us. I finished all of mine and grabbed water at the last water station. Kj was a trooper. She did the whole 5k under her own power other then holding my hand. I do think I was dragging her up the last hill, but it was worth it to finally cross the finish line. I was surprised how many people, including one of our pastors, who couldn't do the whole 5k. Because the course had us back tracking people would just cross to the other side and head back early. Well a four year old showed them up!

At the end of the race they gave all the kids 4 years old through 5th grade a medal for finishing. Most of those kids did the one mile run/walk, some did part of the 5k and a few did the whole thing. Kj is really proud of her metal. She carried it around for a couple days.

* For privacy reasons the name of the church and the VBS logo has been removed from her shirt in all the photos via Photoshop.

This week she started out going to the VBS, the church her school is in put on. They had about 25 kids in a park with five adults and one teenager. Kj was bored and kept wandering off or sitting down and not participating. After an hour three of the adults left. Just before the three left two boys started roughhousing. I looked around and noticed all five adults had their backs to the kids while they talked in two different groups. Suddenly one boy fell and took the other one down with him. The smaller boy hit his head on the cement a split second before the bigger boy fell on top of him. The bigger boy was fine; he quickly jumped up and sat to the side while the smaller guy laid there quietly for a moment. The teenager spotting the hurt child right as he started crying. An adult FINALLY looked and picked the kid up. This lack of attention seemed to be a big problem with the VBS. My plan had been to leave as soon as I felt Kj was safe. I assumed they would make me feel secure right away, but planned to stay the whole time if need be. I stayed off in a corner with a grandmother. Both of us watched the kids, but never stepped in unless the need be. Like the boy who was hurt, if no one had noticed him I would have gone to him. So fast forward to when the three adults left. One lady started reading a story to all the kids. She was very animated, but unfortunately the story was REALLY long. As it drug on Kj grew bored. The grandma and I watched as some of the kids put their snack trash beside or behind them so the wind would carry it off. Once the trash blew away they would run for it and thereby get a break. Kj never caught onto the letting your trash fly game, but she did understand they were picking up trash so she ran off to help them do it. The teenager was there to take all the trash from her then try to get Kj back with the group. The trash wasn't enough of a distraction so Kj left TWICE to go play on the play equipment. It took a couple minutes for ANYONE to notice she had walked away. The first time the teenager saw she was over there and he want and got her. The second time she was finally spotted by a kid who looked to be in about the 5th grade. Each time she walked away I kept an eye on her then watched to see when they would notice her gone. By the second time she went to the playground unnoticed I had enough. We had been there less then 1.5 hours and she had walked away to many times. If there were 40+ kids and they were moving around, I could see losing one, but there were less then 30 and they were all sitting down. For whatever reason no one took it upon themselves to step back and keep an eye on the whole group. As I walked over to get Kj and take her home one of the leader finally spotted her and the boy. Just before getting in the lady's sight she started yelling. Honestly it sounded like she was going to chew them up and spit them out. Just as I stepped into her sight she was giving the "get your rear back over here" speech. See looked a bit shocked to see me and quickly threw the boy's name at the end of her long spill. I called Kj's name, took her by the hand and walked her away. I passed the lady who did registration then thought better of just leaving and went back to talk to her. I kept it simple. I just told her Kj is bored and not staying with the group so I'm going to take her home. She momentarily tried to get me to leave her, but dropped it quickly when she knew the issue was settled. After leaving I had to explain to Kj that she didn't do anything wrong, I know she would love to play at the park so perhaps we will go back when they aren't doing VBS and that we were leaving because she was bored and the leaders weren't watching her well. I'll be honest I was a bit surprised when the next day we were going somewhere and when I told her to get her shoes she started whining saying she didn't want to go to VBS. She was all for going the day before. I really expected she would beg to go. If she had asked I would have taken her back, but to one being held by the same church at a different park.

Don't Tell Daddy

2011-06-05T22:33:00.001-05:00

My child is a riot. Tonight she was sitting on the toilet when she started playing with a water gun. Why? I have no idea. I came into the bathroom to shoo her off the toilet and into the tub when she began to freak out. I assumed her drama was because she was going to bed soon and didn't want to get in the tub. Oh, that I could be so lucky. She had pulled the little plug out of the gun and it fell in the toilet. She pointed at it while screaming, "Get it! Get it out!" I quickly let her know I wasn't putting my hand in there. I was considering flushing the toilet and calling it done, but I think she might have had a nervous breakdown. Okay maybe not, but the drama would have been unbearable if I had. I told her to get it at which point she informed me she would not, that I had to. While thinking about flushing it I filled the gun up with water and squirted her. I told her it works just fine without the plug. Suddenly she was blocking out everything I was saying and read my mind. I was telling her to get in the tub then I would TRY to use something to get it out. She heard, "I'm going to flush it!" Her shrieking panic shifted to, "Don't flush it! Don't flush it!" Now how did she know I was thinking about flushing it? I finally had to pull my naked child aside and get her to calm down. Not an easy task. I explained that I was going to put something in the toilet and TRY to get it out; however, I would not put my hand in the toilet and if I couldn't get it I would flush it. Kj, "DON'T FLUSH IT!" I again got her settled down and put her in the tub. She watched closely as I dipped an empty conditioner bottle in the toilet and slowly slid the plastic piece up the side of the toilet. The toilet paper stuck to it worked to my advantage; it made it stay on the side of the toilet. I told Kj to get it out now. Although she was upset about putting her hand in the toilet she was more game with it out of the "water". She did a lot of complaining while shifting from the toilet to the sink with a nasty, toilet paper covered, plastic piece. I turned on the water and gave her plenty of soap and instructions on how to clean it. As soon as it was all said and done she looked at me and said, "don't tell Daddy." Are you kidding me? She just acted like Sadie ate another bag of chocolate then fell into a pool all over a little plastic piece that she didn't have to have and she doesn't want me sharing? What's a mom to do? I bathed and dressed her then called Neal. I barely got, "Guess what your child did." out before she started spilling the beans. By the way, when she said "don't tell Daddy" I told her, "oh, I'm telling Daddy."

Allergies Kicking Tail

2011-05-24T23:19:00.000-05:00

After such a careful weekend of giving Kaitlyn Joy allergy medicine, she's sick. =( Yesterday, we spent a large chunk of the day downtown San Antonio waiting on Neal to fly in. His plane was delayed several hours because of bad weather in Dallas (connecting flight). By the time he finally landed Kj and I were tired. We had walked all over the mall and several other stores. Of course he made it here without a bag. While he was filling out a lost bag report Kj and I headed to the car. I heard her buckle and tighten her seat belt so I started to back out. I turned around and looked and she was sleeping. She fell asleep immediately. It takes a lot for her to sleep in the car. By the time we got her home her fever was right at 102.5. Today was better, but she still had a fever, plus a sore throat. I made her a PB&J sandwich for lunch and she didn't come down for it until after 5pm because she feel asleep. Hopefully she feels better tomorrow. If not I'm getting her a doctor's appointment.

First Face Mask

2011-05-18T08:54:00.000-05:00

Who thought there would still be a first to hit at four? Okay, she still hasn't driven a car, voted, or heaven help us - dated, but on the smaller scale whats new for a four year old? Anyway, we put on a face mask last week. Now I want to say I don't think it's far she typically wakes up with great hair, she looks wonderful without an effort, and with a clay mask on she's still adorable. Don't you wish we could all say that? One night I took out her braids and sent her to bed without washing her hair (yes, she took a bath). I couldn't believe she didn't have ANY braid waves the next morning. My hair would have looked like I just took them out. *sigh* Not fair. Mom was my hair like that as a preschooler?

Perhaps I should put more on her next time so she won't be able to move her face. LOL...

Invisible Mothers

2011-05-08T18:39:00.001-05:00

I would just like to say Happy Mother's Day to all the invisible mothers and those who deeply desire to be a mother, but have yet to achieve it. Invisible mothers you know who you are. You're the ones who were pregnant for a short time and lost your baby. You might be the one who made it halfway or to the end of your pregnancy only to have your baby die. Perhaps you actually got to birth your baby, held it in your arms then much to soon had to say goodbye. There's one more area of the invisible mother that I think is every parents worst nightmare, it's the parent who loses their child either to illness, murder, or a tragic accident. I'm not downplaying the loss of a child at any age or gestation, but I think invisible moms have it worse because the child they lost was their first. It was the child that made them a mom. Only people don't seem to think of them as moms because they don't have a child in their arms. So to all these women I would like acknowledge your God given title of mother and say Happy Mother's Day!

For all the other women who were blessed to never face the loss of a child, Happy Mother's Day to you too.

Fiesta Shoebox Float

2011-05-01T17:15:00.001-05:00

If you live with a school age child in San Antonio chances are you have made a shoebox float. I was sweating this project. I didn't want to let Kaitlyn Joy down, but for the life of me I didn't know what to do. The school sent a slip home telling us to think "flowers". Well I had a whole HUGE bag of silk flowers that needed a purpose; I was going to cover a box in them. Then another San Antonio mom mentioned her kid was doing the same thing and they were doing a Littlest Pet Shop theme float.

Well snapdragons and chicken spit! No one said I had to put toys on it. I started racking my brain as to which toys we could use. My biggest concern was not taking the paint off when using hot glue. We talked about using her Mini Lalaloopsy dolls. I debated wiring them on. I thought about wiring them to flowers then using hot glue to put the flowers onto the float. Then I thought of the several My Little Ponies that McD bestowed upon us. Kj only owns one "real" MLP. Before I go any farther I want to say she picked where each pony would go. Yes I know they aren't even and that she wanted all, but one to be facing the one in the center. I have no idea why. When it came right down to which toy to glue on a last minute switch brought the ponies onto the scene.

If you have yet to make a float, perhaps you are searching websites looking for ideas; good luck to you. This was our first year doing a shoebox float. I learned a few things while seeing the other kids floats...

Securely attach the string, rope, ribbon (what we used), or yarn, to the box. We saw a lot of crying from kids who tried pulling their float and the string pulled right out. On the inside of Kj's float we actually had a plastic strip with button holes on either end. After cutting the box I slipped the ribbon through the plastic button hole and tied it in a big knot. The plastic prevented the ribbon from slipping back through the box. You could use a washer, glue a toy, button, anything bigger then the hole onto the ribbon, yarn, ect, to keep it from pulling through. You might think this isn't necessary, but I can point you to four kids who it would have helped. Don't let that be your kid!

You don't have to use a shoebox. I knew we had a normal shoebox around, but I couldn't find it. We had a couple flip top ones, but I didn't want the ugly ridge. One girl had a car covered in a trimmed grass skirt; all you could see was the inside of the car. They put a lei around it and a Barbie in the seat. We ended up using a box that was between a boot and sneaker size.
They only need wheels if they are going outside. The boxes pulled as good on the floor as Kj's did with wheels.
Use supplies you already have on hand. If you must buy something so be it, but otherwise save your money. The only thing I bought for Kj's was the pink paper. If I had a lighter color (only had red) paper on hand I would have used it. When you get to the last photo you will see why it's laughable for parents to go out and buy new toys, wheels and so forth just for a little float. A store was throwing out some flower heads so I spoke up for them before they hit the trash. The tissue paper was from Kj's recent birthday party. I already had the ribbon on hand. And of course the toys are from McDonald's.

You don't have to put wheels on the box, you can put the box on wheels. We cut the bottom off the box and fit a Little People bus into it. Just tape those big toys on well so when the child picks the box up the car doesn't fall out.

Because Kj and I worked so hard to tape, cut, sew, and glue it all together I'm going to flood you with photos.

Then, after all your hard work, money, tears and sticks and sticks of hot glue...

This was her float minutes after arriving home

Now a couple videos... Kj is in the red and orange outfit

One Green Jelly Bean

2011-04-30T15:04:00.000-05:00

When I posted the video of Kaitlyn Joy and her school friends singing and dancing to One Green Jelly Bean I didn't have a chance to look up the lyrics to post them here too. I just looked them up and can only find them slightly jumbled up and missing the 4th jelly bean so I corrected it. Here's the lyrics...

One green jelly bean, down in my belly bean
Giving me tummy ache, what am i going to take?
All my friends are telling me they got a remidee: don't eat the green ones, jump up and down.

Two green jelly beans, down in my belly bean,
Giving me tummy ache, what am i going to take?
All my friends are telling me they got a remidee: don't eat the green ones, rub your tummy, jump up and down.

Three green jelly beans, down in my belly bean,
Giving me tummy ache, what am i going to take?
All my friends are telling me they got a remidee: don't eat the green ones, pat your head, rub your tummy, jump up and down.

Four green jelly beans, down in my belly bean,
Giving me tummy ache, what am i going to take?
All my friends are telling me they got a remidee: don't eat the green ones, kick your leg, pat your head, rub your tummy, jump up and down.

We're Well

2011-04-30T14:17:00.001-05:00

I meant to post this last week...

I'm no longer just surviving. Sure from time to time I might have a problem with losing the twins, but I'm honestly doing fine. I don't want to debate if I'll ever get pregnant naturally. That's totally up to God and I most certainly will not play around in that area mentally nor emotionally. I'm honestly good with the prospect of never being pregnant again. People can do the whole "Oh, it's not good for Kaitlyn Joy to be an only child" all they want; if God wills it then she will be it. Who are we to say it's not a good thing? Do we know better then God? I think not.

The one thing I have a hard time seperating is losing the twins and all the other babies that went before them. I've thought about seeing if my parents would be fine with me planting a tree at their place for the babies. My dad told me recently he only wants to plant pecan trees. As much as I love pecan trees there is no way I would plant one in memory of the babies; my parents have NEVER had a pecan tree that they have planted to live. How messed up would that be if the tree died too?! Can you picture mom and dad trying to replace it before I noticed it died? Anyway, when the thought of the trees comes up it's always followed by, do we plant one for each? If so what about the other 23? Do I plant 25 trees? LOL... 25 trees. Honestly that seems absurd. Mom and Dad, how about an orchard? *snickers* No I think the best option, if we were to do it, would be to plant one tree in honor of all of them.

Seeing how we now have three Christmas trees I've toyed with the idea of making one of them an angel tree. I'm not looking to wallow in self pitty nor dwell on losing the babies. It's just... they did exist. Kj is a big sister even though all who was to come after her passed away. Actually Kj was a twin in utero (twin didn't attach) and a quad in the petri dish. 22 embryos came after her and her three (same age) siblings. The tree would be to honor them. Now, if I do it, I need to decided if I'm going to make the ornaments or buy them.

Spring Program

2011-04-26T22:34:00.000-05:00

The K3 thru 1st graders had a program tonight at school. Because the K3 (3 by Sep 1st) kids don't have the attention span to remember all the songs and motions for the whole Psalty program, they opened with the pledges and five songs.

Kaitlyn Joy is on the top row, the forth from the right; peach/pink shirt. They are singing God Made Me.

The Green Jelly Bean song. My goodness we laughed hard at this. For once they all could care less they were being watched and laughed at. I had never heard this song before this year. Kj loves it!

Singing God Bless America.

Happy Easter!!!

2011-04-24T23:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we took Kaitlyn Joy to see Hop. I thought she wasn't enjoying the movie, but later realized she was tired and acted distracted because she was trying to stay awake. As we are leaving she's telling us how it was a great movie. Now fast forward to this morning. I was going to get up early to hide the eggs, but ended up going out at 7:15 this morning. Surprisingly Kj wasn't up yet. A little while after I hid the eggs she came running into our room saying there are two eggs hiding in the backyard and what their color was. She was beside herself excited that the Easter Bunny came. I want to put in a little disclaimer, we do not teach Kj that the Easter Bunny is real. We've talked a lot lately about how Easter isn't about eggs, bunnies, and candy, but Jesus dying on a cross for our sins and rising again on the third day. Also, I hid the eggs early so she wouldn't have to wait on me to hide them; not so she would think the EB put them there. After spotting the eggs and telling us about them I quickly got her dressed. Expecting her to see her Easter basket on the coffee table we went her downstairs for her sandals. I was surprised when she bypassed the coffee table and ran to the backdoor to look for more eggs. I reminded her to go get shoes then had Neal stick her basket out the backdoor. When we opened the door she saw her basket. I'm not big on giving her candy so she didn't have a big chocolate bunny waiting in her basket. I was actually going to wrap everything in pink paper and let her find everything with the eggs, cut at the last minute I put it all in her basket. To skip the bulk of the candy I put flower pots and seeds in the basket as well as a little toy chick, a Slinky, Silly Putty, the movie Cats And Dogs. She also got Fruit Roll-Ups, a couple different kinds of 100 calorie treats and Ring Pops.

We had to make her empty her basket before hunting for eggs. The girl wanted to get the eggs BAD. Do only children run to get the eggs as quickly as they can or is that a learned trait by hunting with other kids? They run! In the end she really enjoyed herself. With us using the bigger eggs we are able to put small toys in them. I learned with bent legs you can fit a Mini Lalaloopsy into the eggs. Kj now has the complete collection.

Here For a Moment...

2011-04-18T14:55:00.001-05:00

Sarah Elizabeth

Last week we learned Baby A was our little girl, Sarah Elizabeth. Her chromosomal test showed she was perfectly fine. To cut the doctor's long explanation short, she got a bug she couldn't beat. How did she catch this bug? Only God knows for sure. Perhaps it was from the embryo transfer; I really don't know. Neal and I had talked about names very little this time around. While pregnant with Kaitlyn Joy we talked about the name Elizabeth; Neal really liked it. We already had a girl and boy named picked out from when we were pregnant with Kj however the first names were to close. I told Neal if we were having one of each we would have to change the girl name. I really became fond of Sarah so Sarah Elizabeth she became.

Sarah - Princess

Elizabeth - God is my oath.

Andrew (my maiden name)

Baby B was our little boy, Andrew. His middle name was to be my maiden name; for privacy I'm not going to post it. Andrew was a special little guy. For one he held out the longest before he finally had to give up the fight for his short life. Andrew had multiple chromosomal abnormalities; one of which led to his passing in early pregnancy. To give you a brief idea of his health, his most "livable" Trisomy was 13 and most babies die in utero. Those who survive typically pass before their first birthday. I'm very thankful for Andrew's sake he didn't have to live long with all the complications he was facing. If he had survived it would have been a constant fight to keep and sustain his life.

Andrew - Manly

I wish I had better photos of Sarah and Andrew, but after six weeks they stopped giving them to me. I had three more ultrasounds after this one. At seven weeks Sarah's fetal pole and heartbeat couldn't be found. At eight weeks Andrew followed his sister. At nine weeks I had an ultrasound to confirm God hadn't done a supernatural miracle. We hoped and prayed despite the seven and eight week ultrasounds that at nine weeks at least one would have a heartbeat. And to think, I thought it would be hard come October to only bring one baby home. I'm curious when God takes them home early how old they are in Heaven? Are they babies? Does he have an embryonic nursery in Heaven? However God works it, I know Sarah and Andrew are in good company with their 23 other brothers and sisters.

Baby Steps

2011-04-13T10:40:00.001-05:00

You hope you're moving on, but it just takes one question to push you right back to the moment. Some people wonder why you won't tell them everything while you're going through it. They spin it as their prayers will be more effective or better focused if they are fully in the know. The good thing is God is more fully in the know then any of us so it doesn't matter if the majority of our world is in the dark; God knows. If he cares when a sparrow falls he cares about me and my world. The bad thing about other people being in the know when something goes wrong is: a) they want to ask a lot of questions many that aren't the most appropriate, and b) you must tell them the bad news. People don't understand it's hard enough to live it without having to retell it over and over again. I haven't been to church since my babies died. Emotionally, I just didn't feel I could handle it. People ask questions, they say things and well... I wasn't ready to face it. There's only one lady at church I expected to ask me about it. I wanted to catch her and fill her in, but didn't get the chance before the service. When we were standing in line to get Kaitlyn Joy from her class the lady approached me all smiles. She wanted to know how things were. She knew the pregnancy was rocky. I shook my head no. She said, "Oh, no" then quickly moved down the hallway. Instantly I was fighting tears. I had to leave Neal to pick Kj up. Thankfully I didn't have to answer any more questions. By the way, I don't think the lady was rude to move on. If she had stayed I would have done some real crying and no one needs to see that.

One thing I've learned about the general public recently is many don't understand the grief in a miscarriage nor infertility. Three days before we learned our babies had died a friend of mine went into the hospital for emergency surgery. She thought the fertility treatments didn't work, but it turned out she had an ectopic pregnancy. Some friends of hers are remodeling their house and moved in with her (after her ectopic) while the work is being done. She said the lady was planning a baby shower and kept bring home baby items and showing them to her. The guest expected her to "ooh" and "ahhh" each items not seeming to consider it was hard for her to look at the stuff. The guest was even put off that she wouldn't come to the baby shower. When asked why she finally told her she had just lost her first child. The husband asked why she was down and she reminded him she just lost her baby. He said, "Oh. I guess those things happen." Seriously, some people just don't get it. A friend of mine found out she was pregnant and instead of coming to me (call, email, text) and letting me know she publicly posted it. In her post she was quick to be defensive on people taking up issue with her being pregnant again. I know this may sound selfish on my part, but I honestly feel when someone you're close to doesn't come to you first even knowing you've dealt with infertility and/or a miscarriage, they are both selfish and thoughtless. I'm sure she doesn't see it as not caring about me enough to mention it; however that's how I perceive it. It comes across to me as her being so selfish and self centered that she just wanted people to jump for joy over her news. When I learned a friend had a miscarriage right after I found we were having twins, I quickly sent her a message. I didn't want to add to her blow by me casually announcing I wasn't just pregnant, but having two babies. So for those wondering how to deal with telling a friend whose dealing with infertility or a miscarriage that you're pregnant don't skip sharing the news with her and don't expect her to jump for joy over your news. Does it mean she isn't happy for you? Probably not. It just means she has to allow the news to soak in. She must process your news and decide how it makes her feel. Should this really be you're problem? If you're her true friend, you care more about her then a good phone conversation, time spent together at the mall or wherever, you care about HER. Sure you could be selfish and say that goes both ways that if she cares about you she will be happy for you no matter how she learns, but I strongly disagree. Your mole hill might just be her mountain. Not to mention if you spent less time on your mole hill we wouldn't be talking about this mountain. ;-)

By the way, I do better if you send an email so I can deal with it privately rather then having you there hanging on my every word and watching my reaction. There have been some people Neal and I both wanted to throw stuff at (didn't do it) when we learned they were pregnant.

I pulled up the lyrics to Casting Crowns' Praise You In This Storm. Goodness they are right on. The red is my thoughts...

Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day. This is precisely how I felt. Of course He wouldn't allow the babies to die. He would show Himself big and a miracle would happen.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away. When the storm was raging I kept thinking of all the people who curse God. Who are mad at God for allowing things to happen. I can't be mad. It's wrong to be mad. It's wrong to think God doesn't have a different plan for our lives then I expected.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand It sure has gotten a lot fuller over the past couple months.
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm I will admit it's extremely hard to understand the "why" of it all. I go back to my first statement of fully expecting God to step in. Now it's like a blender in my head where prayer and trusting God is concerned. I know I'm supposed to trust Him, yet part of me questions if it really matters if I pray about something because He's already decided the outcome.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on One day I sent mom a text saying I was at the end of my rope. The coping can be a challenge.
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you" The day before my D&C I was speaking with a nurse in anesthesia. I told her the one thing throughout the pregnancy and especially when I learned it was twins, that bothered me was knowing something that has been on my heart since I was a teenager would never come to be. I forget what she said exactly, but she was telling me God knows and still wants to fulfill that.
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
When it comes to prophecy, I don't normally have any spoken over me where children are concerned. However, when leaving England my pastor's wife, Lisa, did just that. God has been reminding me of what He said through her. It's actually the very thing I struggled with while pregnant and during my frozen embryo transfer (FET) in England. I knew if we had another child or two the door would be closed. Lisa said she saw us with a multicultural home. She said she thinks we were running an orphanage. I told her I've always wanted to be a foster parent. Over the past 6-12 months I've been thinking about the multicultural part. Sure it's nice for your kids, no matter how they came to be yours, to all look like you so no one questions anything, but I don't care.

What Do You Want For Your Birthday?

2011-04-12T15:53:00.000-05:00

I've asked the child several times recently what she wants for her birthday. Although I find some of her answers odd, they are consistant. She can really make me scratch my head and wonder where her answers come from.

She told me she wants skates.

Seeing how she's never been roller skating I'm not sure where she got the idea for these. It was Christmas or her last party she asked me for these then too.

Her second request switches between a dog and a cat.

She has two of these Russ cats in white and a small orange tabby one. They were the best $9.99 and $5.99 (Hobby Lobby) we ever spent.

Last year Jeremy bought her the large Russ Beagle on his way to her party. Her "Uncle Jeremy dog" still is one of her favorites. She often asks me for one of it's smaller versions when we are at Hobby Lobby.

Her third request I really find odd. She's a fan of Cat in the Hat and for some reason has started asking for the movie. I don't think she knows there's an actual CitH movie. She watches the cartoons each day before school. I'm assuming that's what she has in mind when she says she wants the "movie".

These are the only items she mentions when I ask what she wants. When we go shopping she can point out quite a few things. Hehehe...

After Grandma gave her Sugar Crumb, the baking Lalaloopsy doll for Christmas, she became interested in them.

Lalaloopsy came out with a smaller version (3" tall) that Kaitlyn Joy is smitten with.

She has begged for this ferris wheel since it first came out. I finally bought it for her as a birthday present. The little Lalaloopsy girls can ride in the tea cups.

Here are the little girls. They are a whooping $5 at Walmart. Because their price seems more reasonable then most things Kj falls for I don't mind getting them for her. She has the three on the bottom right; painter girl, school girl, and circus girl. There's a 9th mini doll now.

After searching four Target stores for the Mini Easter Lalaloopsy doll I finally found one. I had to give them the item number which sent them searching in the back until they came out with it. Woohoo!

To go along with her Mini Lalaloopsy girls we went to Michael's and bought to CD shelves that look like two story houses.

I'm sorry, I couldn't find a raw image of the houses/CD cases so here's an image of our work in progress. The images above are actually of two CD cases put together. You can buy a single case (two shelves or rooms) for $5.99 at Michael's. The size is perfect for the mini Lalaloopsy dolls. Don't mind all the blue tape, I was painting the purple and pink rooms earlier and taped off to keep the lines clean.

A little history on this house. When everything started going to hell in a hand basket... ummm, I mean when our babies died and we were left with the "go home and wait for them to pass" I needed something to keep my mind off being pregnant with dead babies. I most certainly didn't care to sew; especially with my next planned (fabric purchased) projects being baby blankets. I didn't care to crochet on the baby blanket I had been working on since I had started the stimulation shots. Painting a small house seemed like a great idea. Kj and I returned some things to Walmart. One item was a gift of hers she never openned because we (Neal and I) didn't want her having it; don't ask what it was or who gave it. I'll just say we told her it wasn't pleasing to God and she happily went along with it being returned. With gift card from the return she purchased her first two mini Lalaloopsy dolls; the painter and circus girls. We then went to Michael's where I bought the two houses. My brother has done a great job in picking gifts Kj loves. Not only the stuffed dog last year, but he gave her the Veggie Tales castle for Christmas this year and two years ago the Little People Castle. As you know she loves playing with the dog, but the kid is a freak for doll houses. She plays with the two castles together. I believe it was the Christmas she was one that we gave her the Little People house.

Anyway, back to the cd case/house. Because the girls are quite colorful I first painted the houses purple and the windows yellow. Somewhere in the middle of the painting Neal and I started to brainstorm. We both thought it would be a good idea to pop the windows off one side of both houses along with the eves and glue them together. We cut the window areas out making them doorways. In the end we cut the chimeny off one house. And just like that we had one four room house. This would have been finished a long time ago, but the purple house with yellow windows just didn't pop like I wanted it to. I grabbed some blue tape and put it at wonky angles to make a red and purple striped house. Well grrr... It came out looking like a circus tent. I know one of the girls is the circus girl, but goodness. I put off doing anything else until I finally remembered to buy some white spray paint. Now that she's been white washed I painted it pink, white windows, with a black roof. I think the girls are fun colors, but they also have a lacy-girly side. We are doing the "wild" colors on the inside.

Now, to go along with the tiny house we need tiny furniture. So to add to our list of Lalaloopsy items...

A girl with a cookie table and chairs, tea cups, tea pot, and mouse pet. LOL.. Kj just came up and asked, "Can we get that?!!"

Then there's this girl. She comes with her bedroom set. The best part is they are only $9.99 at WallyWorld.

Invitations Are Out

2011-04-06T12:57:00.001-05:00

Today Kaitlyn Joy took a backpack full of invitations to school with her. With each invitation we included a Build-A-Bear size shorts or skirt depending if it was going to a boy or girl. I actually laid out a pair of BaB shorts and traced them to make a pattern piece. They by no means were perfect, but they looked really good. We asked all the kids to bring their favorite stuffed furry friend; I didn't want to put "furry friend" and end up with peoples pets at our house. LOL... I'm thinking about going to BaB and buying plain t-shirts for the kids decorate. I'm still debating that one. Besides her 11 school friends Neal is supposed to invite a couple guys from work who have kids Kj's age. One guy is about to move and in the middle of a divorce so I'm not sure if he can make it. Neal said the other guy keeps hitting him up to get the girls together. I honestly don't know who he is. I did a big debate about inviting a handful of MOPS moms, but... I'm not sure.

Kj has been asking me every day if her school friends are coming over "now". Today I finally told her she has four more days of school before they come over. If this party flops I'm really not sure what I'll do next year. Perhaps I'll talk Neal into sleeping in the bouncy castle Saturday night if it doesn't go well. LOL... Kj might like that. =D

My child... She put on three pairs of jeans this morning until we found a pair that fit. The first pair were short and could snap if I made her stay uncomfortable all day. When she put the second pair on and I could perfectly see both ankles I told her to take them off before she even tried snapping them. I think the difference in the ones that didn't fit and those that did was the smaller ones were 5t. There must really be something to them being toddlers. As of last fall I was still buying from both the toddlers and big girls, but we have officially moved on. Size 6 dresses fit great and if they are big, they're forgiving. Anything that must fit in the waist (shorts, skirts, pants) are big on her. She has one skirt that if she didn't wear knit tights with them she might loose them. =) I need to take them in.

Birthday Party Time

2011-04-04T08:24:00.000-05:00

We've put things off long enough, it's time we focus on Kaitlyn Joy's birthday party. We decided not to do it over the summer because no one shows up. Her school will be really busy next month so May is out. I wanted to do it the first Saturday in April (last weekend) because it would be the best one away from all the April activities. However with all the pregnancy issues going on we never planned. Seeing how my D&C was on Friday; Saturday really would have been a bad day. We've decided to do it on the 16th which hopefully doesn't conflict with anything else.

Because time is short, today I have to buy invitations, see about renting a bouncy castle, and decide on a theme/color, something.

I hope we have a decent turn out of her school friends. She's been looking forward to this since her actual birthday.

Heaven Born

2011-04-01T20:59:00.002-05:00

I know they are hard to see, but remember they were only 6 weeks 2 days old here. It was VERY hard for the technician to get them in the same shot. Baby B (the bottom one) as you can tell by how faint it is was barely in the shot.

Last week at eight weeks gestation our two babies were Heaven born. I really wish God could text, email, call me or simply send an angel (no you're not an angel!) to tell me why I was allowed to get pregnant, but only have my babies with me for a season. I'm not mad at Him for taking them I just wish I knew the purpose. What was I supposed to learn in the eight short weeks of their lives? What were we supposed to learn? I always thought that in the end God would do the "impossible" and we would have two miracle babies. How in the world could it turn out any other way? I hoped and prayed God wouldn't have me join the ranks of those who have lost pregnancies. It's a large club, but I really didn't want to join. Despite having done two previous IVFs and an FET that were all failures the emotional toll of those were different.

For anyone keeping track the missed due dates of all the babies who didn't manage to attach and hang on for nine months are July 28, 2008, February 25, 2009, and June 21, 2009. I know people with kids who were born right around the last two dates. It was hard to see their babies knowing I should have one that age. Now it's a little easier to focus on the date and not the year so I don't see my kids faces in every child born around their due dates.

My cousin once told me that some people love their babies when they first see them and others love them as soon as they know they're pregnant. She was the latter. I don't remember how far along she was when she lost her baby, but she didn't make it out of the first trimester. I think losing a pregnancy you really wanted is the same as losing a friend or loved one "to soon". You know how something means more when you take it away? It's the same when you're baby dies in utero. The more the doctors said something was going wrong the more I fell in love with the babies and wanted them.

Because I REALLY thought with everyone praying that God was going to show Himself BIG in the situation we moved on with life as though we would be bringing them both home. We decided to keep the multiple pregnancy to ourselves. We have a tester ultrasound image from six weeks that I wrote on. The plan was to send out a mass email to family and friends with the babies images. I had bought a little yellow going home outfit and the day I learned there were two I picked up a second one. For the long two weeks where I had weekly ultrasounds the little outfits laid on the back of a chair in our living room. They were our daily reminders of what we are fighting for. The day I learned they were deceased I returned the outfits along with some socks, clothes, diapers and toys we had already bought. I couldn't keep them around as simple reminders and everyone I know has bigger babies then me. Kaitlyn Joy was 5 lbs 5 oz at birth. She wore preemie clothes for the first 3-4 weeks and newborn size up to two months old. By one month she could wear some 0-3 month clothes. Anyway... When I learned I was pregnant with Kj I took a bear to Neal's work with a positive pregnancy test in the ribbon around it's neck. This time I bought two little bears and asked Neal if he would come to the BX. Kj and I were going to have lunch with him. Of course he was driving all over town and couldn't meet us. The same thing happened when I learned I was pregnant. *rolls eyes* I brought the bears home and Neal took FOREVER to get off work. I believe he came home, even after all my nagging, after 6 or 6:30. I sent Kj upstairs to play when he arrived. I told him I had something for him and handed him a little bear. I then grabbed the second one out of the cabinet and said I thought it would go well with the other one. It took a moment before he asked if I was serious. Even though the clothes are all gone we still have the bears. They are sitting on the living room. They're our little reminders of our two that were gone much to soon.

The doctors made me wait 9 agonizing days for a D&C. Although I had given up praying, hoping, and wishing for them to be alive, I knew it wasn't beyond God to breathe life back into them. On Tuesday, 9 weeks 1 day pregnant I had an ultrasound that confirmed God had taken them home for good. I had planned to ask for a better ultrasound photo of the babies because they haven't given me one since I was six weeks. However, it was obvious to me they didn't look the same as the week before. As one of the doctor's delicately put it, they were shrinking. I didn't get to see the doctor again today or I would have asked if they would part with one of the many photos they kept from my 7 & 8 week ultrasounds. I just wanted a better double picture.

Sometime between 7:30-8:30 am this morning, my babies were born sleeping. I was 9 weeks 4 days along. Although I managed to hold it together until I started typing this, the morning was hard. I had wished they would do the D&C sooner, but when it came right down to it and I was spending the last hour with my babies alone, waiting, my heart was breaking. I kept thinking how this was it. Dead or alive they were about to be gone from me for the rest of my lifetime on this earth. Parting with them was a bitter sweet. Of course the sweet is only that my physically body can heal.

Kaitlyn Joy told me last week that the babies are in Heaven with Daddy Billy. And that he is taking care of them. I would have to venture to guess it's really Pop Paw who is holding and cooing them right now. Probably trying to stick beans in their mouths and fighting the other mothers around to let him do it. Daddy Billy would be the one playing with the older kids. Heaven help him... For someone who was an only child and went on to have two kids of his own, who each had two kids; he has more great-grand kids then he probably knows what to do with. First there's my cousin's baby who would be three right now. Then there's all the embryos of mine who either didn't get a chance at entering my womb or did and didn't hang on. Neal and I have 25 kids waiting to meet us on the other side of the purly gates. Beat that Duggar's! Kaitlyn Joy might be an only child here on earth, but one day she will have more brothers and sisters around her then she ever dreamed.

While taking back the different outfits to Target, Kj told me, "Now that the two girls are in Heaven, I want two brothers; no three!" If you knew the on going: Kj "I want girl babies not boy babies!" Us, "They might be boys. We don't get to chose, God already has." Kj, "What did he choose? He chose girl babies!" that was going on around here you would find her statement hilarious.

Clinical notes...

They waited so long to do the D&C that the babies had started to shrink. An eight week embryo is TINY as it is. The goal was/is to send the "tissues" off to see if they can grow a portion enough to do a chromosomal test. In testing them they could find out if anything was wrong with them or if it was just "one of those things". I requested to know the genders. The doctors might have thought I was nuts, but if all I get with them is a little over 9.5 weeks (-2 weeks you aren't really pregnant) then I want to know as much about them as I can. They gave me little hope of learning anything because of the shrinkage. Although the doctors didn't talk to me today after the D&C (grrrr) I read the report and they were able to take each baby separately (excellent) and there was moderate tissue collected. So perhaps I'm getting my hope back. I asked God if he was going to take them early to please at least leave enough tissue for me to get some answers. It was either that or He needs to send me a text message.

Personal notes...

I'm still not up to talking to most family and friends. If I don't respond to your texts, voice mails, private messages on FB and emails that's because whenever I received it and really up to this point, I'm just not up to it. There are EXTREMELY few I ever talk with so please don't take it personal. Actually only three people have I been talking to on the phone and even with them I have to keep it short at times. One of my grandmother's was in the hospital when everything went down so her and I have briefly spoken off and on. My only girl cousin on that side of the family is the one who had the miscarriage so Mama Peggy has actually been awesome about it. She won't talk long and NEVER brings it up. Because of this I feel "safe" talking with her. The only other two people are Neal and Mom. Yes, I spoke with a friend a couple days ago, but unknowing to her it was a real challenge for me. I also talked with my brother today and honestly it was a challenge too. Neither brought up our situation. I think my biggest issue can be when the other person via text, private message or email is just shooting the bull on random stuff that is only mildly important to them, I keep thinking "I just lost my babies do I really care you waxed your car? No..." It just feels meaningless to me. A friend once said, you get through a miscarriage (or death of a child) not over it. Please be patient as I learn how to walk this hard road. Also, all the details beyond what I put on here are not up for discussion. Do not call Neal because you want clarification or are digging for more info. I would appreciate it if no one called asking either one of us about it.

One last note, I appreciate everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday Sunday, but were considerate enough not to call. I had turned my ringer off on my phone because I was so afraid people would call me and like I stated above, I'm just not up to talking. So thanks for all the well wishes on FB, emails, and cards.

Miscarriage Prayer

2011-04-01T20:34:00.001-05:00

A friend shared this with me. It asks the very question I've been asking. Why?

Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? My baby will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?

“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.

You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity. -- Mother M. Angelica

The Mall

2011-03-27T15:18:00.000-05:00

Why is my child such a mall freak? She's been begging for at least a week to go to the mall. We might hit up a different store while she complains of being tried and rides in the cart then she will cry to go to the mall. Seriously? I don't think so. I tell her no. She whines and tells me she NEEEEEEDS to go the mall. I remind her that all she's been doing is riding while I walked around and I'm tired. She still says she NEEDS to go. Today we told her to stop asking. At one point she said, "Daddy..." I knew what she was going to say so I cut her off and said, "Kaitlyn don't say it!" She didn't. What's her fascination with the mall?

They're Gone

2011-03-23T20:34:00.000-05:00

"Though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm." ~ Casting Crowns

Today we had the unfortunate experience of learning our two babies no longer have a heartbeat. I would rather not have gotten a positive pregnancy test then to have them taken away now. Perhaps it is worse that although life has left them, I'm still pregnant. It's as if my body knows they aren't supposed to be getting an eviction notice yet. They still have a solid 6.5 months to bake. Over the last 3-4 days I've noticed a difference. I asked the ultrasound tech today if my ovaries were shrinking. She said they are still large, but she could tell they are on the mend. She wanted to know if they had stopped hurting. They hadn't. Actually the discomfort I've had lately feels more like the uterus stretching I had with Kaitlyn Joy at this stage. I still can't stand up fast or my poor ovaries get pinched. Now it just seems cruel. I had noticed because my "baby belly" was looking... slimmer. My boobs have ached all day which just makes me mad. I can take the pain, even welcome it, if my babies are alive and thriving, but they're not. I've been crazy exhausted the last couple days mixed with nausea so bad at times I pull my hair back and get ready. Now it makes me want to curse the blasted drugs that were supposed to be helping me sustain the pregnancy. Instead they are just making me feel pregnant. Only God knows why they didn't make it. I did all I could, the doctors did everything to the best of their knowledge, the rest was and is up to God. I don't blame Him; there's a reason for everything. I just wish He hadn't let me know about them in the first place.

My feelings are quite twisted right now. Part of me is beyond grateful I didn't go full term then birth sleeping babies. The other side aches that these two don't get their lives nor deaths acknowledge like a stillborn does. I never want to birth a stillborn although to a certain degree that is what will happen.

We have to go tomorrow and talk about our "options". Ummm... How about you bring my babies back? Oh, that's not an option? If nothing else at least these long six weeks are behind us.

Kaitlyn Joy Praying.

2011-03-22T19:32:00.000-05:00

Tonight Kaitlyn Joy and I sat down to eat some pizza. Neal was on his way home, but hadn't made it yet. I asked her if she thought we should pray and she quickly started praying. She went into her normal prayer that goes something like, "today was good, gentle..." and on it goes. She paused for a moment so I jumped in and thanked God for the food. This is normal for us. Only tonight she said, "HEY!!! HEY!!! HEY!!! Stop messing up my prayer!" LOL... She then started praying about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. She explained sin. She then went into how he was put into a tomb then rose again on the third day. It was cute.

Dead Dog & The Cross

2011-03-20T20:16:00.000-05:00

Today while at church they pulled all the kids together for some worship time. They've been skipping this so for Kaitlyn Joy this was a new experience in Children's Church. At some point they asked the kids ranging from PreK to 5th grade what they did for spring break. Ever the talkative one Kj piped up and said her dog died this week. Ummm... Sadie's still very much alive. The people were really feeling sorry for her as she kept pouring out this sad story about her poor dog. Stinker! After church we stayed for a newcomers get to know you time. We had lunch and the pastors and some of the staff talked with us. The lady over the children came to us and told us Kj shared with them about her dog dying. *sigh* She told us how Kj went on and on giving them details of the whole thing. I let her know our dog is alive, but her teacher's dog passed a couple weeks ago. Because Kj made such a bid deal out of it the lady was surprised it wasn't our dog. Anyway, the little stinker is a great story teller.

Speaking of stories. I don't believe the church gives themselves enough credit on how much of an impact they have on the PreK kids. It helps that Kj's school has been talking about the very same thing. She has been telling me over and over how Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Me, "Kj what's sin?" Kj, "the naughty things we do." Then he was put in the tomb and rose again on the third day. Me, "What does it mean he rose?" Kj, "I don't know." Me, "It means he came back to life." I've tried comparing Jesus coming back to life to Daddy Billy dying. I know that may be a bit morbid to go that route, but I want her to grasp the death part then unlike Daddy Billy, Jesus came back to life just like she's alive. She's hilarious by the way. She sees a cross in everything. She will even eat a cross into her apple then show it to me while announcing Jesus died on a cross. When we see a cross on churches she says the same. Oh, today her new spin on Jesus dying on the cross was talking about him having big nails driven in his hands and it hurt really bad.

Morning Sickness

2011-03-18T08:25:00.000-05:00

It's really weird how my morning sickness isn't as bad some days. It's always worse in the evenings, but thankfully that only means nausea. This might sound crazy, but I don't like to smell my food especially once I'm done eating. Grocery shopping is very short lived typically ending with me rushing across the store for something while I hold one finger under my nose. When I'm not feeling well most any smell puts me off. Ugh... yesterday it was bread at Walmart. Last night I was rushing down the bread isle after Kaitlyn Joy reminded me we need some; I removed my figure from under my nose long enough to grab the bread then get of the isle ASAP. I don't remember dealing with nausea because of anxiaty before, but I've done it a lot lately. My main point in saying that is that I haven't been certain if my nausea lately is anxiety or morning sickness. Given our latest doctor's appointment it's a bit unsettling when morning sickness isn't as bad as I feel it should be. So as crazy as this sounds I was happy when I rolled out of bed this morning and my boobs were killing me. For probably the last three days they've been tender, but not as painful as they had been. Mind you the severity has come and gone throughout the whole pregnancy; I just wish it wouldn't go on the tail of bad news.

As far as the pregnancy goes... Well, I have several thoughts sworalling around. One is that nothing has been "normal" up to this point anyway so why should be expect everything to look "perfect" in the ultrasound? Perhaps the baby is growing at it's own pace. My other thought is at last on this military base they don't see patients until they are right at 12 weeks pregnant. With those ladies they get a positive test then wait. However I get a pregnant and they have me coming in all the time for blood work and ultrasounds. Perhaps a lot of ladies have their blood work all over the place and don't know it because they aren't being tested nor will they be seen for another eight weeks. They just go on to have a healthy baby. Because they don't have as early of scans then they wouldn't know if the baby's heartbeat couldn't be seen at 6-7 weeks or if it was slower then it should have been. I'm sure many unknowning women have had many of the same problems and gone on to have healthy babies. On the flip side if something is truly wrong then only God can correct them. After having several good cries I've decided I'm not giving up without a fight. Of course there's only way to fight a matter that God is fully in control of and that's through prayer.

I did read one website that follows my case. I'm still not ready to go into any of the details of the ultrasound, but I will say this website's 7 week section follows our case and gives me hope. Here it is...

Week 7 - Gestational Age (Fetal Age 5 weeks)

Generally from 6 ½ -7 weeks is the time when a heartbeat can be detected and viability can be assessed. A normal heartbeat at 6-7 weeks would be 90-110 beats per minute. The presence of an embryonic heartbeat is an assuring sign of the health of the pregnancy. Once a heartbeat is detected, the chance of the pregnancy continuing ranges from 70-90% dependent on what type of ultrasound is used. If the embryo is less than 5mm CRL, it is possible for it to be healthy without showing a heartbeat, though a follow up scan in 5-7 days should show cardiac activity.
If your doctor is concerned about miscarriage, blighted ovum, or ectopic pregnancy, the gestational sac and fetal pole (if visible) will be measured to determine what type of development should be seen. The guideline is that if the gestational sac measures >16-18mm with no fetal pole or the fetal pole measures 5mm with no heartbeat (by vaginal ultrasound), then a diagnosis of miscarriage or blighted ovum is made. If the fetal pole is too small to take an accurate measurement, then a repeat scan should be done in 3-5 days. If there is absence of a fetal pole, then further testing should be done to rule out the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy.

Kaitlyn Joy

2011-03-17T10:46:00.002-05:00

Please pray for Kaitlyn Joy. The last three months have been emotionally challenging for her. First she knew something was going on, but wasn't sure what, now she's more in the loop then most everyone else around; it's a lot for a four year old to handle. She knew I was doing injections for the last few months and would get upset if she was around when I did them. The day of my egg retrieval she was there. She came into the room with me while I had the gown on and waited for them to take me back. It was to much for her; she started crying, wanting me to get off the bed, didn't want to leave and on it went. She knew we were pregnant before we told the masses. She wants a girl by the way. Anyway, the picture is bigger and her knowledge greater then the picture I'm painting; I just choose not to go into all the details now. Anyway, all of this maybe pregnant, still pregnant, possible loss of pregnancy is taking it's toll. No she doesn't know the off and on again, but she feels it. It keeps her on the brink of tears. Neal went TDY this week and Kj cried after he kissed her and left. She just watched a show I recorded and thought Dora was coming on next. I told her I didn't record Dora. She had a complete meltdown.

So please pray for peace for her. For a little person she carries a big burden.

Also, we ask you do not call asking about the baby nor the pregnancy. This goes for EVERYONE and BOTH of us. Do not feel YOU are the exception to the rule. This isn't about you NOR YOUR NEED TO KNOW. When we are ready to talk about it we will call you AND BRING IT UP. If we call and don't mention it then you need to do likewise.

Pregnancy Prayer

2011-03-16T17:40:00.001-05:00

A friend sent this to me...

Ezek 16:6 "Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!"
Baby in the name of Jesus I prophecy the Word of God over your life by professing that you will live and not die and proclaim what the Lord has done (Psa 118:17). I come against the name of miscarriage and the symptoms of miscarriage and you must bow down and leave! I command EVERY part of my body to function the way God created you to because you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That means EVERY hormone is to get into balance and function perfectly not only during my pregnancy and delivery but for the rest of my life!
Jesus is the Word of God and I speak the life of Jesus into my womb, which says I will NOT miscarry. Right now according to Isaiah 53:4-5 I claim healing over any complication within my or my baby's body. Lord I thank you that you are restoring me to perfect health and healing me from all of my wounds (Jer 30:17).
Father I commit my baby and my pregnancy into your hands. I thank you according to your Word that you will take charge of the growth and development of my baby by knitting every part of them together without any defect or complication. I know that you will perfect that which concerns me and you will not forsake the work of your own hands because your mercy and loving-kindness endure forever.(Psa 38:8 AMP).
I take authority over fear and oppression for they are under my feet for I have been given a spirit of power, a sound mind, and self-control. I pray right now for your perfect peace to come upon me and to guard my heart and my mind in you. Lord I thank you for this miracle and for your Word because it says if I believe I will receive whatever I ask for in prayer(Mark 11:24).

Amen!

This Too Shall Pass

2011-03-16T14:18:00.000-05:00

You know sometimes you don't feel like praising God when things are going wrong. Sure it's easy when your life is peaches and cream, but even Jesus didn't have everything run smoothly for him 24/7 while he was on this earth. I love Casting Crowns song Praise You In The Storm. It's an excellent reminder to not crawl in a hole when you feel like you're on a ship about to go down. I have to give equal props to some of Jeremy Camp's songs. He knows what it's like to walk through the muck and claw your way out the other side. When he was 23 he went on the road only to learn his former girlfriend (21) was diagnosed with cervical cancer. He rushed home, married her, then told her goodbye three months later. I Still Believe was the first song he wrote after losing her. He remarried a few years later. When his wife was three months pregnant with their third child she went in for an ultrasound only to learn the baby had passed a week earlier.

My half naked child just ran up the stairs with her open cheese stick. She informed me she didn't want to wear her pants anymore. It's interesting to me that she's fine going all day in her panties, but knows she shouldn't be completely naked. For the record I don't let her run around in panties. I do find her that way sometimes.

I always hesitate when I see comments that need approval. I've had people leave nasty ones in the past when I talk about trying to get pregnant. Sure those who post might know what it's like to not get pregnant, but for some reason something just doesn't click in their heads that just because someone has one child, they might want another. They don't know what it's like to see success the first time then three failures in a row. Actually fertile people struggle with this understanding too. When I thought of my cousin a little bit ago and how she lost her baby - one she thought she could never conceive - early on, I remembered her almost sister-in-law telling me that she just needed to get over it. No matter what I said the almost SIL just couldn't understand what it's like to deal with infertility, have success which is then followed by a loss. I'll be honest, when the conversation happened and earlier when I remembered it my first thoughts were "I wish you many losses". Yep, I thought it. I probably should be ashamed, but heartless people don't seem to learn without walking in your shoes. I was talking to an infertile friend of mine about pregnancy a while back. We were discussion how it doesn't seem right that after our great fight to get pregnant, not to mention the financial, emotional, and physical toll it takes on us, that some still miscarry early, birth sleeping babies or their child passes shortly after birth. We both agreed we would rather the treatment not work then to get a positive only to lose the baby. Now hopefully God has a 10th inning planned here because otherwise it does seem cruel to let me get this far then take it away. Okay, I don't really believe God does things to us. I've read Job. God doesn't do it, but he allows it. I sure hope He puts His foot down this time and we don't end up with empty arms come October.

"Even when I don't see, I still believe." ~ Jeremy Camp

Not Good

2011-03-16T10:05:00.000-05:00

I'm so sick and tired of this roller coaster. I hate getting my hopes up then having them crushed. I hate people wanting to play the "what if? Why do you think?" game with me. To put it lightly, I'm HIGHLY DISAPPOINTED in today's ultrasound. This pregnancy is starting to look like a long dragged out miscarriage. Now don't start preaching at me! Save that speech for someone else. On that note I will probably not be answering my phone today. I know God is still in control. I know He's still on the throne. However His will might not be for us to take a little bundle home next fall. Don't pretend you are God. Our desires are not always His.

Outside Allergens

2011-03-14T08:26:00.000-05:00

It always seems at some point in time someone is pressuring me to spend a day outside. They think it will be fun and possibly cheap if all we are going to is a park. Now granted Kaitlyn Joy will have a good time, but I won't. The whole time we are out I'm going to worry that it's been to long and the next day I'll have a sick kid. Honestly to long for her could be 30 minutes. When she wakes up coughing the next day it really stinks. It's worse when on day two (today) she wakes up hoarse. Now tell me why some people don't want to understand this? It's like they must experience my child sick before they concede she has outdoor allergies; I resent that! However, the not believing can be and is used on other things too. Things must get ruined to prove I was right on a matter. Do you think it's the selfish side of people that does this? They just want to have fun or do things their way and then it blows up in my face. Lovely. We took Kj to the park on Saturday. I'm not sure how long we were there, but it has really knocked her for a loop. Mind you this post isn't about Neal even though it was his idea to take her to the park. She's sick now. She came into my room talking at a whisper this morning. Ugh! Perhaps it's a good thing I'm pregnant in Texas this time so the baby can get used to the allergens in utero.

Kaitlyn Joy's School

2011-03-09T18:09:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I forget Kaitlyn Joy is going to a Baptist private school then she comes home singing Amazing Grace. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the song. I'm just thrown off every time I hear it from my four year old. Once she finished Amazing Grace a few minutes ago she moved on to a song from her Sweet Pea Veggie Tale CD about having a grateful heart. She's sitting beside me trying to think of what song they sang in chapel today. Ah we got it. It's the me, me, me song. Honestly it's not as selfish as it sounds.

Today her teacher's son was sick so she had to leave before Kj even got out of the car. She told Kj why she was leaving and who was substituting. It wasn't until I picked her up that I learned it was one of her classmates moms who was the sub.

She has one classmate she used to talk about a lot. Neal and I used to joke about how they have a lot in common. Like both being born one December evening. They are both the first born. It really felt like we were hearing, "%#@$, has XYZ like me!" all the time. Now not so much. Perhaps he has move on to another girl? Or maybe she's branched out to other friends???

Media & Kids

2011-03-07T19:05:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking about doing a media turn off during the week for Kaitlyn Joy. I'm sick and tired of the bad attitude. Something has to give. Ugh! Neal and Kj fight at dinner time like cats and dogs. Honestly I'm sick of it. Sometimes I think he has a pet peeve which she knows and goes for it. I'm not sure if his expectations are to high for a four year old or if she should be cleaner when she eats. I do know I don't like eating with the pair; it's never pleasant.

Okay, kids and media. Have you ever met kids who aren't allowed to watch TV during the week or perhaps not at all? And when I say TV I'm talking about videos too. They almost seem to be a whole different breed. It's time we have some remolding going on in our house. If you want a little glimpse into cutting the media out of your child's life you should read The Thorn by Beverly Lewis. It's an excellent book that really gets you thinking.

RIP... umm... yeah

2011-03-04T10:01:00.000-06:00

With the passing of a great man recently I was thinking how people write RIP or say "rest in peace". I've never been crazy about the saying and acronym. It's actually a false statement. Do you think we say it for ourselves? There's no resting in death. The Bible says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. You can't be present with the Lord and resting in peace. Sure whatever was ailing your body is no longer a concern to you so in that you can say you have peace. However, I keep thinking you're either running on the streets of gold greeting all your old friends and family members, walking the fields with Jesus and spending time in the presence of the Lord or experiencing hell and damnation. Although the former might sound peaceful you wouldn't be resting. And the latter... Well, it's hell. There isn't peace in hell. Hey, guess what? Even atheist experience eternity. They might like to say they don't believe in it, but when their time comes they aren't resting in peace; they're either walking the streets of gold or burning in hell.

I imagine when Mr Godfrey left his old tired body behind he didn't just lay down and rest. I keep picturing him entering heaven while sprinting. I can see a big smile on his face and his arms open wide. I bet he was calling greets to all the friends and accuantances that beat him there. And then he saw his daughter. If there were tears in heaven I'm sure he would have grabbed her and hugged her for a long time while crying his eyes out. Instead they probably ran into each others arms while smiling and laughing. His body might be in the ground (or wherever they put his ashes), but the real Dale is in heaven.

What's Up Doc?

2011-02-28T08:12:00.000-06:00

Doctor, hurry up and call me! You've been in your office for 42 minutes which is plenty of time to give me my test results.

I'm thinking about heading to Michael's while I wait. It's better then sitting by the phone. Or I could get back to my book. I'm reading The Thorn by Beverly Lewis. I love her Amish books! I believe I've read all of her adult books. I even bought the cookbook, but haven't tried it because how much is a pinch? LOL... most of the book is like that.

Urgent! Pregnant & Prayers Needed

2011-02-26T16:10:00.001-06:00

We had great ideas on how to announce this so much better, but frankly we don't have time to wait two to three more weeks for a headcount. We felt after four years, three IVFs, one FET, thousands of dollars, and an ungodly amount of drugs that WE should get to tell everyone instead of having our business spread for us. However, this little one has decided to make things difficult from the start.

We've known for over a week that we're pregnant. Tuesday I had a blood test to confirm the pregnancy and the number was close to Kaitlyn Joy's. After officially learning I was pregnant with Kj I never had a second blood test. This probably saved us a lot of headache and stress. The clinic we're at now does at least two tests. Thursday I had my second beta test. It was a long day. The doctor was called to a different hospital and spent most of the day there. He called me after 7pm to say my numbers didn't double. He went on to say they like to see them go up at least 60% in 48 hours, but mine only went up 30%. Of course this isn't good news. He let his doubt of the viability of the pregnancy be known. He told me to come back Saturday morning for a third test. We want to see the numbers double, but right now I'll take the 60% increase.

I did have the blood test early this morning, but because it's Saturday I have the pleasure of not learning the results until Monday. The head nurse was supposed to see if the Dr would call me today, but from the sound of her email I don't believe he went in today.

The baby is already reeking havoc on my system as it has for the past week. Last night I may have eaten three slow bites of my dinner, working hard to keep it down, before I had to call it quits. I "like" to do all day morning sickness while giving it extra gusto in the evening. I'll gladly take the tiny meals several times a day while fighting to keep it down for the next eight weeks if it means this little bean hangs around for the long haul.

We've been claiming the life of this baby and now we ask you to do the same. We not only want a healthy baby, but a completely whole child both mind and body. We know our bodies miscarry babies that have problems which is why we are asking God for a completely healing and for the beta numbers to go up.

Note: I write in the single about the baby, but we know it can be twins. It's simpler to just put "baby" rather then baby(ies).

Disclaimer: Before anyone gets their granny panties in a knot on how you found out join the club. We did our best to keep the IVF and pregnancy a secret from all our family and most of our friends until now. I started by saying we wanted to tell you all in a special way, but because the baby is making the doctors doubt we feel we need to get the info out ASAP. Just remember this isn't about you and your feelings, but our baby. Please do not call asking questions. We just need you to pray. Also, even if the person is family and cares about us, that doesn't mean they need to know about our pregnancy and that it has been called into question. So please no gossipy "prayer request" that leave people just wanting more info. If they don't have a heart to pray fervently over the matter then don't share it with them. We don't need doubters and naysayers speaking negatively over our baby.

Thank you for praying!

Western Valentine Party

2011-02-18T08:38:00.004-06:00

The closest thing to a smile Neal could get out of her.

Western day was cancelled at Kaitlyn Joy's school because of bad weather. Someone decided it would be brilliant to have rolling black outs during the cold snap. A couple screwballs at two power plants didn't wrap the pipes and they burst causing the plants to shutdown. So we bought power from Mexico and had rolling blackouts to help distribute the power. Well, this didn't sit well with the kids. It made it hard for the teachers to have a productive class when the power would go off at random. I saw some people posting online that we shouldn't cry about the power outs because they were only for 15 minutes to 3 hours. I think it's those people we should cut off for 3 hours. Our power was off for about 1.5 hours. It was during the time we are getting up and ready for our day. My poor fish were freezing their fins off. The tank got down around 70* Actually it might have been lower I didn't check it right as the power came back on. When I checked it perhaps 3 hours after the power had come back on it was 72* and the fish were swimming around the top. Poor things.

Anyway, the power outages were problematic so Kaitlyn Joy was out of school on Thursday (western day). It snowed early Friday morning leaving all our streets icy until noon so school was out and all non-essential personal at all the local bases first had late reporting then were eventually told they didn't have to come in.

Western Day was pushed off until the end of the next week. It just so happened Kj's class was having their Valentine's party that day too.

It was Neal's turn to go to her party so all these pictures were taken by him. This is when they had their Valentine sundaes. Anyone want to guess why Kj wasn't hungry when we went out to lunch after this? We didn't buy her anything accept a drink.

I have no idea what they are singing here, but none of the kids other then A on the far left seem into it. I'm really hoping Kj isn't like this every day. She's such an outgoing kid at home. Put her in front of other people at school and she clams up. The little guy in the floppy hat next to Kj is her buddy L. She talks about him all the time.

We love her school! If we were to live here until she graduates she could do so at this same school. I would totally do it if we weren't military and going to move away in four years. Actually if it wasn't for the school, her awesome teacher and the great staff I would be excited to know what base we are going to next. BTW, I'm rooting for overseas when the time comes. I still want to go to Guam. Yes this means Kj would be home schooled, but I know after going to FBA that she will have a great foundation. She might just be doing her math on the beach. =) I could crochet, read, or hand sew while she's working. =D

Weather, Tote Bags, & Flip-Flops

2011-02-07T21:35:00.006-06:00

I'm so thankful we live in Texas. We can have the cold weather, like the snow last Friday, then it's in the 70s on Sunday. God knows us Texans don't mind a touch of cold weather if it's quickly followed by warmth. How awesome is that?!!!

In MOPS today we made monogrammed tote bags. The craft needed to be done quickly so I spent Saturday evening and Sunday morning stenciling a doily pattern on each of the 27 bags. My rear hurt from sitting on a step stool and/or the floor for so long. All the ladies had to do was stencil their initial onto the bag. It seemed a bit of a shaft to make the ladies part so simple, but in the end it made it do able. I think most would have gotten frustrated trying to carefully stencil the doily on. When I purchased the first package of paper doilies, I got 10" ones. I wasn't sure how big they needed to be. Once I opened up the first bag I realized my 10" wouldn't fit in the corner of the bag. I had to go back to the store and buy 12" ones. Because I had these smaller ones I gave the ladies the option of stenciling a second doily onto their bag. Only two took me up on it which makes me really happy I took care of the bulk of the work for them.

Kaitlyn Joy has done a great job of crushing down the fabric to make these look not so fluffy. My flash bleached out the color. =( The purple is from the same frabric I made Kj's Disney World stroller bag out with Minnie all over. I didn't use it so you could see Minnie; I only wanted it for the color. She loves pink and purple. Kj loves them! The bonus to all the fabric is that keeps her feet warm on cool days.

Desitin Paste Explosion

2011-01-26T15:15:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I noticed Kaitlyn Joy showing signs of a UTI. The Dr agreed something was going on and suggested we push the fluids and use diaper cream on her until we get the results back on Friday. We stopped by the BX for some Desitin. Unfortunately I bought the wrong kind. We've always used the cream and I bought the paste. Yuck! We used it anyway. A little bit ago I went upstairs while Kj was supposed to be having quiet time and discovered this...

Desitin all over the mirror and counter top. Notice the tube is almost empty and you can't even read the label because it's coated so well.

And look at ~~Neal's~~ my kid. As you can see it was on her arms and legs, but she didn't stop there. It was also on her hair pretty bad. While I was cleaning up the bathroom I put her in the tub. She took it upon herself to rub all the Desitin from her arms and legs all over her belly, back, and hair while I cleaned. I had to scrub her down with Palmolive dish soap. Ugh... her hair was a mess. The stuff caused her hair to tangle as it clung on for dear life. With a washcloth and the soap I believe I managed to get most of it out. And my goodness the middle of her back was white! I don't mean white girl white either.

I learned again the wonder of Clorox and Lysol wipes. We don't use them often, but we do keep some around. When in a pinch those things are life savers. I first wiped the counter with toilet paper and it smeared the mess. I then used a Clorox wipe and it cut right through it. It didn't leave little smears. It was gone. I ran out of Clorox wipes and had to use Lysol wipes. I honestly couldn't tell a difference between the performance; they both worked wonderfully.

Note to self: Go buy more Clorox or Lysol wipes to replace the empty containers.

Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs

2011-01-18T16:43:00.002-06:00

Alright what is wrong with my dog? Since her little chocolate binge and near death experience she has regressed. Mind you she's a senior and gave up her puppy ways a long time ago. She has taken up peeing on the carpet and sometimes leaving other little presents. Lovely. While at my parents house for Christmas she left a puddle in my parents bedroom once a day. At least she's consistent. LOL... We have to look at the bright side somehow.

She has begun to attack our kitchen trashcan. For two nights in a row she would knock over the trashcan while I was giving Kaitlyn Joy a bath. During the day I would hear her hitting the trashcan trying to pull up on it. Ugh! After the second night of binge eating in my absence I put the can in the garage. I bought a smaller can and put it in the pantry. One problem solved.

And today... Oh today was lovely. I came home from the gym to find a hole in our carpet. While locked up she decided to do a little scratching. Yes, the house would need new carpet before we sell it, but we didn't count on that need being from a hole. And we by no means want to put it in now. I'm going to pick up a rug and throw it over it for now. I don't want Kj picking at it nor Sadie making it worse.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2011-01-12T20:12:00.003-06:00

I'm not a fan of cold weather. I would like to say that's why I live in Texas, but of course the military sent us here. However I'm from Texas and overall we like our weather which doesn't normally mean having days in the 30s for multiple days in a row. We cool down, warm up, then cool down again. That's how we Texans can handle the cold; only when it's mixed in with the warm. Kaitlyn joy was praying tonight that it would stop raining so she could play on the playground at school. I told her it's not raining; it's the cold keeping her inside. Today she said a friend of hers was upset he couldn't go out to the playground. I think the natives are restless and the native Texans want our 70s back.

Stinker!

2011-01-06T19:54:00.002-06:00

The Christmas decorations are put away... I'm loving it. For some reason I was annoyed by them this year. I think it was because Kaitlyn Joy wanted to play with EVERYTHING. How many times did I tell her "ornaments are for looking at, not touching"??? Countless. We ended up with several ornaments hanging off the bottom branches. Stinker! Now the house looks so much cleaner and all I did was put the Christmas decor away. Ahhhh, I'm loving it.

On several occasions I've told Kj not to walk or jump on the couches. She likes to stand on the coffee table and jump or fall onto them. Tonight she started it up. When she was crawling back onto the coffee table after her first jump I asked her what was not supposed to be on the couch. She played dumb. I grabbed her foot while waiting on an answer and she fought back a smirk. I finally said, "Your feet". I reminded her about not jumping on the couch. She looked at me only waiting a beat and said, "You need to go to the bathroom." Little rat! She wanted me to leave so she could jump on the couch. Did you all know I was born yesterday. =) What gets me is she will say the funniest things with the perfect pitch and expressions that makes us want to fall on the floor laughing.

Okay Neal needs help in the garage so I should go.

December

2011-01-01T18:43:00.006-06:00

Despite me not posting life really has marched on. On the 11th we took Kaitlyn Joy to Sea World for her birthday. Before heading out we had her blow the candles out on a birthday cake and let her open her gifts. I made her a cupcake shirt and a big cupcake hair bow for the day; she wore them with a blue jean skirt, stripped leg warmers and yellow ribbon socks. Yep she was cute.

We had a lot of fun at Sea World. At the first show we went to Kj was laughing her head off at the pre-show.

When the water shot up from beside us to over our heads we jumped up and ran. There was a guy standing over the water and splashing it on everyone. It was funny to watch. Kj had been laughing for a while when Neal shot this video.

On the 15th we took cupcakes to Kj's school for her birthday. Because she saw the 15th as her "real" party (she didn't want to go to Sea World at first thinking it meant no cupcakes at school) I bought her a Cinderella cupcake-cake at Walmart. Note to self, take a knife next time because the icing was thick. Her teacher did a wonderful job at getting the cupcakes apart, but it would have been a lot easier if we had something to cut the icing with. I kept the toppers thinking we might get the cake again for her party. They did a great job on it.

On the 16th Kj had a good time with her friends at school having a Christmas party; it was her last day before the Christmas break.

Seeing how we are never home for Christmas we decided to open our gifts on the 17th. Kj did a wonderful job oohing and gooing over everything. Between the 17 & 22 she opened seven horses. She's in horse heaven. We gave her a bigger one for her birthday so she has 8 total. We gave her both an electronic game and two board games, a small stuffed cat, Legos, ect... A short time after opening her gifts I asked which was her favorite; she held up her little tabby kitty and said it was. Her second was the Legos and cell phone (lip gloss). For a short time we found ourselves taking three cats everywhere. I finally convinced her the tabby can go alone. Don't ask me why, but she named it Super Star. LOL...

On the 23rd we headed for my parents house for Christmas. We had a packed day planned for the 24th. We opened gifts at my parents and both grandmother's houses. Kj had a good time at Grandma's with my cousin's kids. I felt bad for her when we were at Mama Peggy's because her second cousin wasn't there. She was the only great-grandchild present. Laci was with her mom and grandfather. Speaking of grandfather, I went into Daddy Billy's room for the first time since his passing. I first walked in without thinking about it then when I realized my mistake it felt like the air was sucked out of the room. It took me a moment to breath. I had gone in to place a toy in there. It was a toy that had always been in that room, at least until it became Daddy Billy's. It didn't feel right putting it anyplace else so I left it in the room. I went back in there before we left and honestly it felt the same. I guess it will feel like his room until it's cleared out.

Oh, how could I forget... On Christmas Eve Kaitlyn Joy turned four. Daily she finds a reason to tell me her age. I know when she gets around other kids she can pick up how they say things, like Bleth-la-hem, but for the most part she can pronounce things correctly. It's funny to hear her say four though because she sounds like it's a struggle to say. I need to work with her on it. We've worked on Bethlehem many times and she can say it at home. I think it's hearing others say it wrong that throws her off. Once home from school we are back to saying it over and over trying to drop the L.

On the 25th we ate at my parents house. Mama Peggy, my cousin Dustin, and my youngest uncle and his family all came over. I had woken Neal up and told him seeing how we were at both my grandmothers the day before mom didn't have time to do any pre-cooking. I told him we needed to help her. He looked more interested in sleeping. I announced I was going to the bathroom and told him to be ready when I came back. Of course he was checking out the inside of his eyelids when I returned. I told him he needed to get up then I began to get dressed. Suddenly there was a desperate knock at the door. I opened it and dad rushed in to say there was a deer in the field and Neal needed to come shoot it. Neal was now wide awake, out of bed (thankfully wearing shorts) and running for the backdoor. Dad gave him a gun and a pair of Crocs. Basically dad handed him a deer on a silver platter so neither one would have to help cook. Rats! =p

Mom and I spent the weekend reading Her Mother's Hope by Francine Rivers. It's a good book! We pushed hard to finish it before I left. Once home I bought Her Daughter's Dream and finished it in a couple days. Wooooh, that book had me in tears by the end. I kept reminding myself it was just a book and tried fighting the tears. LOL...

Neal ended up working New Years Eve and on into New Years. Sadly the circumstances are never good if he must work on a weekend or holiday. I feel for those affected and pray for peace. Anything life changing around a holiday seems to taint the holiday for everyone. It's just terrible all around.Kj stayed up with me as long as her eyes would allow it. We went for a quick drive - I know not the best idea - and she really had to fight to keep her eyes open. I kept talking with her the whole time trying to keep her awake. When I turned the car off I turned around to find her sleeping. I woke her up and took her upstairs to bed. She held out 2.5 hours passed her bedtime; it was 10pm. I ended up wasting a lot of time waiting on Neal to get home. And that girl... Only on a handful of occasions has she slept past 7am. She would get up earlier if I would let her. I bought a color changing alarm clock that signals her when she can get out of bed. Like clock work she comes into my room every morning at 7am; today was no exception. Neal would have slept till noon if it hadn't been for Kj setting off the house alarm. =D Good girl! Hehehe... No I didn't have anything to do with it.

Happy New Year!

May 2011 find your family healthy and happy. May you receive many blessings throughout the year. And may God be more real to you this year then ever before.

We already have a piece of good news for 2011. I looked back and I never blogged about an issue that came up in our church. Our Pastor and a couple staff members were having problems. The staff members felt he wasn't a good leader. Personally I disagree. The board talked about it and decided the situation couldn't be rectified between the parties so someone needed to go. The staff members had been in the church the longest so the pastor of 1.5 years had to leave. On Halloween Pastor told us about the problem and said he prayed about it and decided to leave. I was stunned. He's the main reason we go to the church. How can I trust the church to pick a new pastor when they got rid of one over a squabble? It really made me question why the last guy left. Did staff members disagree with him too? The board was quick to wipe the church and it's website clean of anything dealing with it's now former pastor. Thankfully, today we were walking into the movies when a couple we know were coming out. They had gone to the New Comers Dessert at Pastor's house with us. From them we learned Pastor is starting a new church. I will have to find out from Pastor's wife which civic center they will be holding it at. They aren't officially starting it until March 9th. I'm excited to be apart of what God is doing with our Pastor and the group of people who are already meeting together.

Chocolate Toxicity

2010-12-17T15:13:00.002-06:00

We almost lost Sadie this week and all over a $2 bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips. Monday we did a craft project in MOPS of cookie mix jars. I had seven bags of chocolate chips left and two bags of brown sugar so I thought I would return them. I had put the bag of return items on top of an ice chest by the back door. 24 hours later Sadie found the bag and helped herself to a bag of chocolate. After her treat she came upstairs to me. Noticing it was about time to feed her I headed downstairs. That's when I found the empty bag. I rushed upstairs and told Kaitlyn Joy to get her pants back on then (wearing a tacky star skirt) while calling my mom. I was debating making Sadie vomit; mom agreed, but then said I should call the vet. I did just that then rush her in (they are 2-3 minutes away). They quickly gave her a shot that caused her to vomit (not in front of me). They said so much came up that she had obviously just eaten it. Her heart rate was up so they put her on an IV and asked us to pick her up in two hours. 30 minutes after the injection they gave her charcoal to neutralize anything that may have remained in her gut. We brought her home and she hovered near the water bowl. It may have only been 15-20 minutes when Kaitlyn Joy came to me saying Sadie vomited. Sure enough she had and she was stumbling around. I guided her to the back door, but she seem to find the opened after I slid the glass open. She stumbled out then came right back in shaking and have a hard time walking. I wrapped her up in a towel then pulled her into my lap. We called the vet and they said to bring her back or take her downtown (which is what they preferred). My GPS wouldn't pull up the street crossing they gave me so I rushed back to them for help. Sadie was in REALLY bad shape. I rushed her in and they quickly took her back. She was hooked back up to an IV and given a couple different drugs. I got the address to the ER and rushed the 20 minutes to get there. Sadie's breathing was terrible to put it lightly. I wasn't sure she would be alive when I arrived. I ran into the ER and threw my purse, IV bag, phone, and all my other junk on the counter then ran back for Sadie. I scooped her out of the car and in the 6-10' it took to reach the door she started having a seizure. The first vet had said she was shaking, but at least she wasn't having seizures. Of course I was scared. The receptionist ran to the door to let me in while someone rushed to get her from me. It was a long night with little hope. Sadie was squeezing her eyes shut so they couldn't find out if she could see. After getting to the point of having seizures there could always be vision problems. They gave her a drug to bring down the brain swelling. Thankfully it worked.

We picked Sadie up from the hospital Wednesday night. The doctors are amazed she made a quick recovery. On Wednesday morning we called for an update fully expecting to request they put her down. We didn't want to keep trying to save her life then end up with a brain dead dog. So the plan was if she still wasn't there neurologically then we were stopping treatment. To our amazement she was lifting her head, looking around and responding to her name. They said she would move her legs like she wanted to stand up, but was to weak to do so. Seeing how she was still "there" we wanted to keep fighting to save her life. They called me two hours later to say she was moving her legs again so someone stood her up. After a couple tentative steps she went outside, peed, then went back in; that was two milestones. They were shocked. I went to see her about an hour later and instead of taking me to the back where she was pinned up they brought her out to me on a leash saying I could take her for a walk. I couldn't believe it! She acted like the same old dog she was before the chocolate. They had warned me her vision still wasn't right. Her depth perception was off. However we stepped off and on several curbs and not once did she faultier. She spotted her self in the store fronts and had to stop and sniff the strange dog. She was fine. For the rest of the day they worked to get her sodium levels under control. Without a bowel movement she still had the charcoal in her intestines and it was putting off sodium. Thankfully 23 hours after taking her to the ER she was released. The doctor told me when Sadie was assigned to her the other doctor told her Sadie was their Christmas miracle.

I have refused to add up all the bills, but I know we paid roughly $1200 for a $2 bag of chocolates.

The big kicker for me is that I had her at the vet vomiting within 30 minutes of her eating the chocolate, but that was enough time to absorb a deadly amount of the toxins. If I had waited for her to show signs of there being a problem she would be dead. This is all shocking to me.

Mama’s Holiday Wish List Meme ~ giveaway questions

2010-12-09T10:11:00.005-06:00

TodaysMama and GameStop are giving away a sleighful of gifts this holiday season and to enter I’m sharing this meme with you.

1. What is your holiday wish for your family? No matter the gifts or extended family that may rub us the wrong way (every family has at least one person) my wish is that we have a wonderful time together while not losing sight of the reason for the season.

2. What is your Christmas morning / Hanukkah Nightly tradition? Goodness... Most every year it involves traveling. It seems our extended family has their list of traditions that prevent us from having our own. Sometimes they exclude us because we can't be there or get there in time. My question to Neal over the weekend was "when do we get to start our own traditions? Are we forever doomed to trace back and forth across the country during the holidays never enjoying our time at home as a family?" Maybe next year...

3. If you could ask Santa for one, completely decadent wish for yourself, what would it be? A positive pregnancy test followed nine months later with a healthy little bundle. Or if he can't deliver how about an interior decorator to re-due my whole house.

4. How do you make the holidays special without spending any money? My family bundles up and goes for a hay-less hayride, singing carols and looking at Christmas lights. Option 2, hot chocolate, popcorn, and Christmas movies.

5. What games did you play with your family growing up? Did we play games? Okay, domino's, farkle, 10,000, Jeremy and I used to play Battle (is that what that card game is called when one is trying to play the highest card????).

6. What holiday tradition have you carried on from your own childhood? I don't think I'm old enough or have a big enough family to pull away from family traditions yet.

7. Where would you go for a Christmas/Hanukkah-away-from-home trip? Hawaii. =D

8. Check out GameStop and tell us, what are the three top items on your GameStop Wish List this year? DSi, Ages of Empires: Age of Kings for DSi, History Great Empires: Rome also for the DSi.

December

2010-12-03T10:10:00.003-06:00

We're into December... now what? Neal turns 29 in three days; he's so young. He hasn't mentioned having a hard time with this birthday. If he does I may have to smother him in his sleep. Hehehe... Then there's Kaitlyn Joy; she's turning four in 21 days. I'm having a hard time with this birthday. Four feels like the point of no return. She hasn't been a baby for a long time, but when you say she's three it still sounds baby-ish, but four??? Well that's a school aged child.

Speaking of school, Kaitlyn Joy has a buddy at school name Landon. They do everything together. His mom told Neal all she hears about is Kaitlyn. Yesterday she came home from school saying it was Landon's birthday. I'm not sure if it really was though. They didn't have anything special for his birthday if it was yesterday. Landon is going to be a big brother, next month I believe, to a little sister. Kj and I were talking about this recently and she announced she's going to have a baby sister too. Just like with the Bigfoot toy, I'm not sure how she'll react if she doesn't get it. What if I have a boy or boys? No, I'm not pregnant. =)

We are looking to do IVF some time in the first quarter of 2011. We've been working on this for the past year. It takes a long time to get on the list, do the testing, then waiting for one of the three dates our military base does IVFs. BTW, we are not having it done for free. We are actually paying more then we've ever paid before to do it here. I don't think I'll be sharing exactly when we do it until after it's done. The one downer with doing fertility treatments is never being able to surprise people with a positive result. So no it won't be a surprise when I share we're pregnant, but at least it can be in our timing.

This is becoming a random post. To keep it going, I'm trying to talk Neal into going to Sea World tomorrow. The military can go for free once a year and we have yet to "cash-in" this year. We didn't go last year for that matter. I'm sure we would all enjoy it though.

Bitter Sweet Week

2010-11-20T19:08:00.003-06:00

Daddy Billy with Kaitlyn Joy at 4.5 months old

We picked Neal up from the airport yesterday. He's been gone for over a month; he likes to say 5 weeks, but it was more like 4.5. We had been counting down until he was coming home on a calender, but after a bad weekend that went out the window. I would just tell her "daddy is coming home in X days".

Perhaps I should backtrack a little. Maybe a month ago my grandfather's care became to much for my grandmother, Mama Peggy. When he couldn't turn over any more she had to put him in a home. This was a huge struggle for her. When you've done everything in your power to keep someone out of a home it's hard to finally hand them over. She was encouraged they have a high success rate of getting people back on their feet and home again. It seems that was not to be the case with him. I'll spare you the health details and just say a heart issue came up and surgery wasn't an option. On Thursday Mama Peggy signed the DNR (do not resuscitate) so Hospice could take over his care. The doctor said he could have 3 months or a year; he really didn't know. I was expecting him to make it to Thanksgiving, but not Christmas. Sunday morning my mom sent me and my brother a text - don't you love modern technology - saying Daddy Billy passed in his sleep. He had a lot of health issues, but I'll be honest I was selfish. My first thing was to ask "Why?!" Only in my head when I would question why he had to die I would picture life as a child. All the camping, fishing and boating we did when I was growing up. I would picture Christmas morning and how special they always tried to make it for us. I pictured Saturday morning pancakes at Mama Peggy's bar with little sausages that I wasn't a fan of. Daddy Billy loved them so I would eat them to. I'm sure my brother, Daddy Billy and I looked like the Three Stooges sitting across that bar. My question for Jeremy is "Why did I always have to sit on the short stool?" I was the younger and smaller of us two. Daddy Billy's health and body wasn't what it used to be 20 years ago. It was his time to pass on into glory.

To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. We all should be jealous. However still being around means God's not finished with us yet.

After learning he was gone I packed up and made the four hour drive to my grandparents house. It was a rough, emotional few days. I would reflect back to my childhood and cry, then remember how things were before he passed and be thankful his fight was over. Kaitlyn Joy did wonderfully through it all. Her second cousin whose five months younger then her was a cry baby the day of the viewing, but Kj handled it all well even without some down time. During the viewing we got to meet some of the neighbors who had welcomed Daddy Billy into their lives. They had some funny stories of how he would pop in and join whatever was going on. Apparently when any construction was going on he also felt at liberty to verbally help them out or tell them when they were doing it wrong. All present really seemed to love him. They all got together the day of his viewing and made a family dinner for the next day after the funeral. I had to head home from the graveyard so I missed the meal. Mom said the neighbors had cleaned up the house making it presentable for all the family. I talked with Mama Peggy later and she was really touched by how much they cared.

My dad's side of the family is small, two kids who had two kids each. Daddy Billy was an only child and Mama Peggy has a sister. My mom is one of eight. Most of her siblings have at least three kids. I know Grandma might wish I would call more often, but one of my cousin's keeps up with her so I feel a bit of relief there. With Mama Peggy I've decided to try and call her at least once a day; for right now anyway. She needs one person who isn't asking her for something and that will just listen. I've called her many times when she's stressed or having a hard time with Daddy Billy being gone or when in the home. Usually by the time we get off the phone she's doing better. I must admit over the past 2-3 weeks we probably talk about three times a day; not for long though.

Now, this brings us to rushing home Wednesday night after the funeral. Not a fun thing to do by any means. Kaitlyn Joy had school on Thursday. She had already been out for two days so I didn't want her missing more. Goodness, I didn't kick off my heels until I was an hour from home. I've never worn them for so long. My feet were killing me.

Thursday seemed to fly by and Friday finally came. Kaitlyn Joy kept asking when daddy was coming home. Around noon we set off for some local shopping then to the mall downtown. Seeing how he was arriving around rush hour I didn't want to try getting there from home. When we finally headed to the airport Kj kept asking, "do you see daddy?" I would tell her not yet while trying to find a parking place. She said, "Daddy has black hair." I corrected, "Daddy has brown hair." Kj, "Oh, right, brown hair." Every few moments she would say something about Neal having brown hair. I asked if she thought she wouldn't recognize him. I think she was looking for any guy with brown hair. We went into the airport and started looking for him. I spotted him long before she did. There were few people around. He started walking to us and she still didn't see him. She kept mumbling about him having brown hair. I pointed out that he was walking straight at us. I kept saying "See! See!" Finally she did. I said, "Go get him! Hurry!" She took off running. She didn't let him out of her sight until she had to go to bed.

Wish List

2010-11-11T19:38:00.006-06:00

It's that time of year again. Kaitlyn Joy has been telling us what she wants for Christmas every time we go down a toy isle or see a movie. We took her to the movies on base over the summer and saw Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. While driving way from the theater she said "I want Cats & Dogs for Christmas". She basically likes anything to do with cats and/or dogs. She switches back and forth on which one she's really into. Over the weekend she was carrying a dog around Uncle Jeremy gave her and the last two days she's had her two white cats with her. Speaking of the dog... it takes on many names. Recently we rented Marmaduke (another movie she says we NEED to buy) and shortly after seeing it she changed Martha (once Marley) to Marmaduke. She was looking through her doll clothes and found a dress from Build-a-Bear for a traditional style dog (walks on 4 legs not 2) and put it on her dog. ((BAMB)) Just like that Marmaduke became Jezebel. Sigh... On Marmaduke there was a Collie with the name. I can't bring myself to let her take it to church. I can picture the faces now when she announces it's name. Any time we are near a Red Box she asks if we can rent it again. She enjoyed the new Tinkerbell too, but it's the animal movies that are getting multiple request.

Kaitlyn Joy has a new fascination with horses. Maybe not to new she has been saying for a while she wants to ride one. She has a small pink glittery horse that came with a Kelly doll and some other horses that came with some Little People. I've seen her gather them all up for a round of... I don't know. She always points out the big horses on the toy isles. I'm not so sure she's really a $40 fan though. LOL... I can't bring myself to get one of those. She has some My Little Pony's, but doesn't seem to care to much about those.

Like all the other little kids in America she wants a Pillow Pet. Neal and I joked when they first came out that a Pillow Pet is an item a grandparent buys a child. Well as it turns out her great-grandmother picked up a lady bug one last month. She doesn't know this so she's been begging me to make her one. So far I have two ears put together and the darts for a cats head. We will see how that goes. I bought a paper pattern for the cat head and I HATE paper patterns. I already had the fabric though so I thought why not try it.

She's really into the plain, no real frills, ballet outfits right now. She practically lives in a pink one; she's actually wearing it right now. It's one of the simple Walmart ones that you get in girls department with a skirt attached. She crawled into the drier today to locate it.

From time to time she talks about Barbies, but has never owned one so other then commercials I'm not sure where she's getting it from. She will be getting at least one for Christmas.

Oh, make-up... how could I forget. The child is always asking to put on make-up. She loves playing with it.

Another thing she's really getting into is dress-up shoes. She has a blue pair she calls - well she calls them a few things. They used to be her Cinderella shoes and when we watched Cinderella tonight (on VHS, we're styling) and she spotted the glass slipper she announced she has some of those. LOL... Lately she's been calling them horse shoes. =( I'm not sure where that's coming from! I put on the ones I wore to my wedding and she asked if we could run like horses in them. Ah, no!

Beauty and the Beast. Kaitlyn Joy loves anything Beauty and the Beast. It doesn't seem to matter if it's a stuffed tea pot or a castle with Belle and the Beast, she loves it. Needless to say she loves going into the Disney store.

I had decided this year not to give out hints on what she likes, but then I was thinking the cousin name swap is coming up so I better give ideas for the cousin. Grandparents should have some kind of idea, but the poor cousin (or their parent) will be in the dark.

I'm sure there are other items I'm leaving off. I asked Neal if he can remember any and so far I only hear crickets on his end of the line. Of course she does love all the gaming systems for preschoolers. We actually bought one over the summer and picked up all the "games". I know that one will be a BIG hit. If it's not I'll be shocked.

Edit: I stand corrected, Fisher Price came out with two new games for the iXL. We bought Kaitlyn Joy the first six. The new ones are Shrek Forever After and SpongeBob SquarePants.

Mountains Vs. Mole Hills

2010-11-10T23:22:00.007-06:00

I want to post something tonight... I've been thinking about different things that are to long for a Facebook update so it must come this way. Perhaps I'll go ahead and post one of the topics now. I would like to call the issue "Woe Is Me". It seems like many, perhaps most, of us can get into a "my situation is worse then yours" at different times of our lives. We are to busy sizing each other and our problems up to realize that what's a mountain to me might only be a mole hill to you.

Neal and I have been dealing with infertility since we got married. It would be very easy for me to callously look at someone fretting over trying for four months and still no positive pregnancy test, and say "try waiting 2 years and 7 months until you finally fork over thousands of dollars and get knocked up with the help of a Dr". Her mountain is my mole hill. However, I know the pain of trying those early months and not getting the positive results. Who am I to say she needs to shut up until she views her mountain the same as I do???

A mountain for me right now is Kaitlyn Joy's defiance. That child will back talk me and stand her stubborn ground no matter what the issue (or punishment) is. If I was a child abuser I would probably beat her at least once a day. On the flip side my mountain became someones mole hill this summer; they might actually like fighting with a defiant child right now. The Sullenger's buried their only child, an 18 month old little girl, a week after she drowned in a canal.

A short time ago on Facebook someone was venting about other women complaining their husband's not being around much; I believe the root of the issue was wanting the husband to deal with the kids. To paraphrase, the poster was saying if they're spouse wasn't deployed or a drill instructor (called Training Instructors in the USAF) they shouldn't be complaining. Oh many thoughts came to mind. First off the narrow minded mentality of this person. To often we are to busy looking at our situation that we aren't willing to see other people might be having a hard time too. Sure their mountains may be small in my eyes, but they are mountains none the less. Other people replied to the vent saying what their spouse does in the military and how little they are home. If this were a contest I believe we had a clear winner of an absentee spouse. The more I thought on the situation I realized a few things. Neal can work 12-14 hours or more. His job can keep him away for a night or two at a time (just over a month this time). Whatever hours he puts in is usually not enough; his leadership would like more. Every other month we sleep with a phone waiting on it to ring saying he has to leave for the remainder of the night. He doesn't get paid anything extra for working long hours and weekends. He doesn't get anything special for doing his job other then a headache and being told he must produce more. The person venting's husband is a TI. Yes, he does have to be away from his family for long periods of the day or night, BUT IT'S ONLY FOR A SEASON. Being a TI is a special assignment. They get paid extra for being absent from their family so much. When their four years is over they go back to their real job. So, who's spouse has the worst job? Does it matter? I don't think so. We are both dealing with our mountains. The one bonus for her is hers has an expiration date. The extra pay doesn't hurt either.

My challenge to you is to try not to make people see their mountains as the mole hill you see. They might be going through some real struggles and the last thing they need to hear is "buck up! I have it so much worse then you." I think we women need to learn how to give a polite smile, pat on the back or hug instead of pulling out our measuring stick. We need to work on validating those around us. It makes me wonder sometimes those facing their mountains and venting, if I shoot them down could it push them over the edge? I think it's best to encourage them.

Can You Speak Crazy?

2010-11-03T13:52:00.006-05:00

In the middle of the night I woke up to find a bed buddy had snuck under the covers. Typically unless it's about 20 minutes before the alarm goes off I make her go back to her bed. She talks, kicks off MY covers, throws an arm/leg on you then proceeds to move it countless times, tells you she's hungry, cries, asks to watch TV, and on it goes. I was surprised when I noticed it was around 1:30am rather then closer to 6:45 like I assumed. She was sleeping so well I decided to leave her.

Have you ever slept with a crazy person? I won't mention any initials (Neal), but I typically sleep with a crazy person every night. I say typically because he's out of town now and won't be back for a couple more weeks. Not just anyone can sleep with Neal and Kaitlyn. First off I'll have to break your legs if your crawling into bed with one of them, but that's not where I'm going. You have to speak crazy to sleep with them. They talk, move around (not just the typical rolling over), gesture and even get out of bed in their sleep. Neal's the worst between the two. Kj cries in her sleep on a nightly basis. While we were away this summer Neal and his mom were talking about Kj crying at night. What neither of them got was the fact that she wasn't awake for any of it. She does it all the time. Since being married to Neal I've learned to speak crazy so when he does something in his sleep and it wakes me up I don't bat an eye. I usually tell him to go back to sleep or get back in bed; he will comply and not remember a thing in the morning. Well, my crazy child... Last night she shot her right arm straight up in the air while crying out for me. Situations like this it really helps when you speak crazy. To anyone who can't speak crazy they probably would have snatched her up for a quick cuddle that would only have succeeded in waking her up and freaking her out. She probably would have burst into tears. Me? I grabbed her hand and laid it down; all the talking stopped. That folks is how you speak crazy. When we first got married Neal would be giving orders and here's me half a sleep and out of bed trying to find whatever it was he was saying needed to be fixed. I used to get mad that he would wake me up for such dumb things. More importantly he wouldn't remember it in the morning. So I learned if he's talking or acting something out in his sleep to just tell him to stop that he is sleeping.

You should hear our conversations sometimes... He will insist he's awake (and maybe he is some times) all the while I'm telling him he's sleeping and he needs to lay down.
Neal: says something foolish/odd in his sleep
Me: Are you awake?
Neal: Yes
Me: No you're not.
Neal: Goes back to odd conversation
Me: Neal, you're still asleep!

Usually he will wake up just enough to realize something is going on and then he will roll over and go to sleep.

This morning Kj started kicking her covers off in her sleep. As much as I would prefer her to leave them on I let it go. Then she decided to turn sideways in the bed. With bent knees her feet were aimed at my head. I quickly spun her around to avoid the kicking that was sure to come. I can speak crazy, can you?

Styrofoam Christmas Tree

2010-10-30T23:07:00.002-05:00

Today Kaitlyn Joy and I made a Styrofoam Christmas tree. Because it would add texture and simply be more fun we put "paper" mache around the cone with fabric.
I learned wadding the fabric up while picking up gobs of goo (aka glue) works so much more efficient then simply dipping your fingers and rubbing it on the fabric like I was doing. Or at least that's what my assistant found worked the best. I tried to steer her over to my view of thinking, but she wasn't to be swayed.

I also learned the higher up your arm you get the goo the better the fabric will stick to the cone.

Finally the cone is fully covered in fabric strips. Fast forward from spraying primer onto the dried paper mache job, green painting, glue and glitter added to both the tree and Styrofoam balls and you get this little guy. I know it looks sad here, but it's having to stand alone; no other Christmas decor around. It looks a lot better in person (in my opinion).

Kaitlyn Joy hasn't seen it since I put all the balls on; which oddly look to all be on one side in the photo. She's going to love it! I'm sure I'll have to fight little hands from pulling the balls off.

65 Girl

2010-10-27T22:48:00.004-05:00

Not taken today

This morning I woke up without the assistance of Kaitlyn Joy or the alarm clock; this rarely happens. If I'm blessed enough to sleep in once in a blue moon.... ahhh, how sweet it is. Well, this morning was one of those mornings. I wake up, realize my alarm hasn't gone off yet, go back to sleep, wake up a little bit later (minutes perhaps) look at the clock because it seems a bit to bright outside, leap out of bed (25 minutes until we need to leave), rush for Kaitlyn Joy's room, tell her to get up. Other then waking up, she doesn't move. I run back in her room, remove the covers and started standing her up. I guided her to the bathroom and told her to go potty. She was VERY content to just sit there for a while. I tried to rush her along, but the girl was having none of it. I finally dressed myself then her while she sat there. I grabbed hair items and ran downstairs with Sadie. I barely got the alarm off and Sadie outside when Kaitlyn Joy started crying. Ugh! We didn't have time for crying. She was upset for two reasons: 1, with her ribbon skirt on she couldn't quickly pull her jeans up and gave up. And 2, I had unsnapped the top snap and she couldn't close the jeans. She FINALLY came down stairs. I gave her cereal then started on her hair. Glancing at the clock I noted she had 11 minutes to eat; she needs 20. Grrrr... I rushed her along giving her updates on when we needed to leave; 4 minutes, 2 minutes... I put socks on her feet and sent her for shoes. I set the home alarm then rushed into the garage to find her looking at butterflies. Okay she really wasn't looking at butterflies, but if there had been any in our garage she would have been. She STILL didn't have shoes on her feet. Seriously kid? I was tempted to have her get in the car without them, but I knew she would destroy her socks walking across the dirty floor. She finally got a little fire under her rear and got her shoes on while I put Sadie in the car. We were buckled and pulling out of the driveway right on time.

My child is an hour and five minutes kind of girl. She likes to take her time getting out of bed, putting clothes on, eating and so forth. She did everything in her power to stretch that 25 minutes to 65.

Thankfully we did get out the door on time because it seems either everyone else left their house early or forgot to turn their alarms on too. The streets were crowded enough to make us 5 minutes later then normal. Thank goodness we always leave a little early just in case. We have to cross some tracks and if I go a little later we typically get caught by a train; today we missed the train.

First Grandparents Day

2010-10-25T17:36:00.003-05:00

Friday was Kaitlyn Joy's first Grandparents Day at school. She normally goes Tuesday thru Thursday, but her teacher didn't want her kids missing out so she invited them to come on Friday. Nana (my mom) drove up to be with Kaitlyn.

After leaving the school we headed off to Chick-fil-a for some lunch. I think Kaitlyn Joy ate her food faster then I've ever seen her. When she was done she played with some other kids a little bit before it was time to leave.

Nana couldn't stay long. Once we got back she loaded her car and had to head out.

Thanks for making the long drive mom! I know you made Kaitlyn Joy's day.

Her other grandparents couldn't be there so they sent her the purple ballet outfit you see above.

Tent

2010-10-22T13:48:00.003-05:00

Kaitlyn Joy has a tent that she loves. It had been in the living room, but last month I moved it upstairs. She loves taking it into her room. Last week I walked into her room to find this...

Where's Kaitlyn?

Fast asleep in her tent after a little reading. =)

It came with a tunnel too that brings a whole other side of fun. She likes getting in it and walking around. I'm not as fond of her doings this after she fell down the last few steps a couple times. She will bunch up one side while on her hands and knees, stick her head out and say, "What am I?" A snail.

New Car Seat & Car Switching

2010-10-19T09:10:00.004-05:00

I hate how I can have a couple post rolling around in my head, but by the time I sit down to the computer... it's gone. Now I can only think of highlights.

Neal's out of town for a month so Kaitlyn Joy and I are free to do as we please. =D Okay, little really changes when he leaves. I guess the biggest change for us is not having him here on the weekends and me possibly seeing him for 3-4 hours in the evenings.

Yesterday morning we got up way to early and drove Neal to the airport. Kj and I rushed home to make something to take to MOPS. I needed to drive to our local base and switch cars. I was driving Neal's SUV and my car was at his office. Well, time was short so I just drove his across town. My plan was to swap them out once we got back from MOPS. After a couple stops it was just to late to go to base. I went home so Kj could have her quiet time. She actually SLEPT!!!! When she finally woke up we had little time to go anywhere so I still had the SUV. I decided to just switch them after I took Kj to school today. I dropped her off then while heading home I pulled up to the base. I was reaching for my wallet before getting to the gate... it wasn't there. Ugh! How many times can I fail to get my car? I carefully and legally (hehehe... I couldn't afford to get stopped now) turned around and went home. After a bit of searching I found my wallet in a Target bag. Yesterday Kj and I went to Target. While there we picked her up a new car seat. She has reached the top of the weight limit on the one we keep in the SUV. Because the car seat box was sitting the kiddy area (yes it was big, but it sat there well) over my purse I had put my wallet in a shopping bag. Now my plan is to switch autos before picking Kj up from school. We'll see how that goes. =D

Car seats... Ugh! Those things are so expensive! Kj has been able to use one of our two car seats since she was 4.5 months old. Actually once back in the UK we couldn't keep using it until we bought our American car when she was 7 months. When she had hip surgery she didn't fit in her car seat with the spica cast on. They make special car seats for kids in a spica, but they are upwards of $400. There's no way I wanted to buy that for three months. I guess she would have used it longer seeing how she was in a brace for several months afterwards. The same $400+ car seat is also sold in a normal version for $250. The difference is the special one comes with foam padding that can be taken out and moved to perfectly fit the cast. Shortly after her surgery I found the normal one (Britax Marathon) for $200 at Target so I bought it. It was 100% better then the seat belt vest the hospital sent us home with. We still use this one in my car and have the older car seat in Neal's SUV. Anyway, after a bit of shopping around we found a seat we like that goes up to 100lbs. Only it's $179. Ouch! Who wants to spend that on a 4th car seat?! But we have to keep her safe or only let her ride in one auto. Yesterday I learned our desired car seat was on sale for $124 at Target (T I love you. You've saved us $$ many times) so I bought it. Woohoo!!!

Now that I've bored you with car seat and car talk I need to go do a couple things before I leave to get my car and Kj.

Projector Giveaway

2010-10-15T14:31:00.002-05:00

Check out the giveaway Twice Lovely has going on right now. One of her lucky readers will get a new Super Prism Art Projector. Now... fingers crossed I'm the winner. =D

Oh and you have to see this...

She used a projector to put the image on the dresser. Isn't it fabulous?!!!

Now go sign up for it. If you don't want it you can give it to me. =D

Glowing Report

2010-10-07T15:32:00.002-05:00

We got a wonderful report from Kaitlyn Joy's teacher about how she's doing. On Monday we had a parent teacher conference. After getting caught by a train Kj and I were a little late; Neal met us there. We all rushed in and quickly got Kj settled in ELS. Now... this was our first experience with a PTC. Is 15 minutes enough to learn how your child is doing? I guess so, but not for much going back and forth. I must say it's really hard to be humble you're being told how smart your child is and that all your hard work is paying off. Oh yeah our kid is smart!!! Her teacher said Kj is a big help. She's the only one in the class who can read so she helps the other kids find the cubbie with their name on it. I think in that case it's not so much reading, but letter recognition of the child's first name. Whatever the case, my little smarty knows her stuff.

Her knowledge started with alphabet flash cards. Then Super Why and Word World. PBS is great for educational preschooler shows. While watching Super Why Kj got really good at calling out the letters. We then heard about Leap Frog videos and jumped in with both feet. She learned her letter sounds then we moved onto putting the letters together. Recently I bought the video that teaches the silent E, vowel dominance (two vowels together the second is silent), and merged letter sounds like th, sh, and ch. She's catching onto it quickly. She often says, "When two vowels go a walking the first one does the talking." Since she started school in August we have been doing word flash cards in the car line while waiting on them to take the kids out of the cars. She's good at them. However she doesn't want to tackle reading a book. This is a little annoying to me, but I can't push her or she may stop trying all together. Soooooo... Kj welcomed a new game into her afternoon. I bought a small glass jar and some Skittles. I call it the Skittle Reading Game. She reads a page in a beginner reading book and gets a Skittle. At the end of reading and getting Skittles I give her bonus Skittles amounting to however many pages she read. We've been talking about doing this for a week or more, but just tried it yesterday. She was a trooper. She read three pages. My one problem with the game are the books. They have to be a book she's never read before or has only heard irregularly. If she knows the book she skips reading and starts telling the story from memory. We are currently reading Hero Dad. Our next book will be Biscuit Meets the Class Pet.

Lost Dream

2010-09-28T18:15:00.008-05:00

Kaitlyn Joy

Please pray for Jamie. She's a friend of mine that I've known for years, didn't talk with for a while, then reconnected with recently. I've never met Jamie in person. I got to know her around the time I got pregnant with Kaitlyn Joy and she her daughter. We went through the ups and downs, bleeding, cramping, and nausea of pregnancy together. During her pregnancy she was put into the hospital on bed rest. Before long, at 30 weeks, she delivered her little girl via c-section. She's a Halloween baby. Kaitlyn Joy arrived less then two months later three hours short of Christmas Day; she was 3 weeks and a day early. Five days later I brought Kaitlyn Joy home and two days after that her daughter came home from the hospital. When Jamie's daughter came home our girls were 2oz apart in weight. Our daughters were only home for a couple months when we started talking about trying again. Two rounds of IVF and one FET (frozen embryo transfer) later, not to mention a year and a half we called it quits.

Jamie's little girl

Infertility really takes a toll on your finances, health and sanity. You focus your whole life on getting pregnant. Sure Kaitlyn Joy was learning to walk, climb and talk all in the middle of it, but in the back of my mind, I'm missing the child who isn't present. It was hard to let that child go. It was important though. I needed to be fully present without looking to that next treatment.

Now fast forward two years. Jamie had tried the same drugs that worked before and moved on to IVF. It failed. She then went to her backup plan of a FET and today learned it failed too. She's done. My heart breaks for her. I know what it's like to have to pull the plug on your dream. I know what it's like to have your heart break multiple times a day for weeks when your arms are aching for the baby who isn't filling it.

Infertility is a cruel, cruel joke played on those of us who really want a baby. Are we selfish for wanting more then one baby? Let me ask you, are you selfish for having more then one just because you can? No it's not selfish to want another child; not for any of us.

Please pray for Jamie. She needs peace and comfort when her arms are aching for her lost dream.

Owl Shirt & Hair Bow

2010-09-26T20:09:00.003-05:00

I made Kaitlyn Joy an owl shirt this weekend. In the picture above she has a low temp only because I gave her Tylenol. She smiles through the fever anyway! If you blow it up you might see her fever spots.Back to the shirt and bow... I got the owl from the DIY Dish's new project. The legs are only attached at the top. In the first picture you can see Kaitlyn Joy is holding one of the feet.

I REALLY shrunk the pattern down and made a little owl for her hair. I skipped using the pattern legs because they would have been crazy small with a fray issue and opted for braided ribbon.

I made a big bow without a center knot so I could clip the owl onto it.

I was surprised how much Kaitlyn Joy loved the owl shirt.

Memory Verses

2010-09-11T22:16:00.003-05:00

Kaitlyn Joy has been working on two memory verses. The first one, which she normal says the full verse, is one from school. Because her class is only three, they don't expect them to actually remember it, but her teacher repeats it to them all the time. Kaitlyn Joy quickly picked it up and can say Genesis 1:1 with one hand tied behind her back. Since Tuesday we have been working on Philippians 4:13. She can say the verse, but until I shot this video, she couldn't or wouldn't say "Philippians". Well, enjoy. She says the verses in the order she learned them.

Projectile Vomiting!

2010-09-05T22:16:00.002-05:00

After church today where Pastor basically talked about being doers of the Word not just hearers we came home for turkey wraps. Yes, Pastor's sermon has nothing to do with the story; I just wanted to throw that in. After a bit we headed off to the Bass ProShop. Kaitlyn Joy really likes looking at all the real stuffed animals.

Speaking of stuffed animals.... We had a lot of fun last night. We finally found a backup cat for Fluffy. I've been washing it every time I put a load of laundry in. However all my efforts to make it match Fluffy were in vain. Unless Neal and I slept with it for four weeks straight there's no way we could even get it close to looking like Fluffy. So last night while Kaitlyn Joy was sleeping I put Fluffy 2 in bed with her. My hope was that she would accept it was a really clean Fluffy. How did it go you wonder? Well at 2 am she came out of her room declaring it wasn't her cat. She wasn't happy. I hear crying and demands of where Fluffy is at. Truthfully Fluffy was in the closet my craft room which is where my parents were sleeping. We finally told her Fluffy 2 was Fluffy's little brother. She accepted that and had to carry them BOTH around all day. We failed in our attempt at having a back-up cat.

Back to my story now. After leaving the Bass ProShop I tried giving Kj back her apple. I first gave it to her on the way up and surprisingly she didn't want it after a few bites. She normally finishes the whole thing in good timing. I think she took one bite after I gave it back to her. I also gave her some Ritz crackers with cheese. After eating one cheese cracker and licking the cheese out of another set of crackers she decided she was done. Not eating the crackers and apples was really odd for her. I wanted her to eat them because she was tired and was going to fall asleep before we got home. I planned on putting her to bed for the night and wanted to get a little something in her belly seeing how she would miss dinner. When we got home my dad got her sleeping body out of the car seat. He didn't make it far into our garage when Kj vomited over his shoulder. I grabbed and took her into the bathroom. She finished vomiting in there with zero comprehension of leaning over the toilet. She would look the general direction while covering the toilet, walls, and floor with her vomit. I know she felt bad, but I finally had to get physical with her and put her face down by the toilet seat. The last time she lost her lunch (literally) it was on my arm while I tried to get her head in the bowl. When it hit my arm it flew EVERYWHERE! I had it on my glasses, down my leg, on my shirt and shorts, and in my hair. Can you say gross? I stripped her clothes, took out her pigtails, wiped down her chest and face then sent her with Neal to go get into bed. It took me a while, but I finally got the bathroom wiped down and my clothes changed. As I expected she went to bed late so she's still sleeping. Hopefully she wakes up tomorrow feeling great.

Week Two of School

2010-08-31T15:20:00.003-05:00

It's been a week so I guess a little update is in order. Kaitlyn Joy's first week of school went really well. Her teacher might tell me a little "Oops" of the day, but for the most part she had glowing reports. We actually had a great weekend too. I believe either it's going to school or just maturing, perhaps maturing because she's going to school that has helped Kaitlyn Joy's behavior. I'm not saying she's perfect. She definitely have picked up a couple things. Sunday night for the first time in her life she bit me. What in the world is up with that?!! By the look on her face when I took her into the foyer (we were at church) she couldn't believe she had just done it either. When she initially bit me I popped her cheek to get her to let go. I must admit I was taken by surprised. Instantly all the things I've heard from parents of one year olds who have bitten came rushing back. What did I do? I had a stern talk with her on how we don't bite. I let her know if she does it at school I WILL find out about it and she WILL get a spanking when she gets home. I've never seen her more remorseful. I don't believe she broke eye contact with me. Normally when she's in trouble I have to keep saying, "look at my eyes!" The next morning when she woke up I was already downstairs. One of the first things out of her mouth was, "Mommy, how does your arm feel?" That's my baby. =)

What's the good things your wondering? Well... She went all day Saturday without a time out and/or spanking. Woohooo!!!! I'm not saying she didn't get warned, but she was good enough not to get punished and that's saying a LOT for my child. *sigh... she had to get a spanking while I typed this. Stinker!

Wednesday she came home telling me God made the fence, the stop sign, and the birds; God made everything. I told her God made trees and people cut the trees down to make the fence. One day she'll get it.

Today she was introduced to scissors. I've let her use scissors one time; last month actually. I don't like the idea of her using scissors to soon because it means cut hair, clothes, bedding, and possibly even Sadie. Her teacher said she thoroughly went over not cutting clothes and hair. Anyway, she seemed to enjoy her day.

First Day of School

2010-08-24T09:01:00.004-05:00

Kaitlyn is at her first day of school right now. As we were driving away (they won't let you walk them to class) Neal asked if I was okay. Yes, of course I was okay. I asked why he wanted to know. He pointed out all the cars scattered across the big parking lot with a crying mom in it. =) Nope I didn't cry. I feel Kaitlyn Joy will be as brave as me or more so, because she's independent, if I'm upset and causing a fuss then she might be upset too. I've been preparing her for school by relating it to her going to VBS. I would drop her off in the morning then pick her back up a few hours later. I was surprised when the idea upset her at first. That all doesn't matter now because she happily got out of the car with the school staff member and headed off to her class. One of her classmates wasn't as fortunate. The poor girl was taken from her car screaming. After seeing the red faced child being carried away I looked back and saw a crying mom. Hopefully the little girl can quickly adjust to going to school. It made me think how we are sending Kaitlyn to school because she's so independent and a leader. She needs people to lead. However, the other mom is probably sending her child because she's clingy and needs to learn to be more independent.

Brilliant!

2010-08-20T15:44:00.005-05:00

Wow! I'm so clever. Really, I'm a crafting whiz. I'm just to amazing for words. Let me tell you how crafty I am...

I decided to make Kaitlyn Joy a balloon hair clip. I bought the wire a couple weeks ago, but just picked up the balloons today. While she was in her room having a little quiet time I got to work on the clip.

I wrapped, added balloons, and wrapped some more. When I was finally done I decided spray it with clear acrylic sealer. I set everything up (meaning I covered the table in papers) and began to spray. That's odd... Why is it beading up and turning the balloons white. Hmmm... Maybe it will dry clear? Although it never turned anything white before. Does it not stick to balloons? *sigh* Could be. Oh, I need to move my finger I'm touching the sealer. Oh goodness it must not stick to the balloons because it just pulled some off when I moved my finger. Wait, what can did I grab? Aaaaaaaah! It's spray adhesive not sealer! Now let's hope I got it all off because I'm going to try the sealer again once it dries.

So don't you see I really am brilliant crafter. =D LOL...

Yes I know the picture is blurry. Crafting is my hobby not taking pictures.

Toadstool Backpacks for Preschoolers

2010-08-19T22:11:00.006-05:00

I've been sewing, debating, and sewing some more. I'm currently making two toadstool backpacks I would have finished one or both of them tonight, but my iron decided to peter out. =( I don't want to change and head to Walmart (although I'm sure I would blend right in) so I'm going to wait until tomorrow. That leaves me with two unfinished backpacks. Here's what I have so far...

This one still needs it's lining. I guess I could have straightened it better for the photo too. =p
I was preparing to sew the back on this one when I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around putting the straps on straight. Seriously what's the deal?! I take that as my cue to walk away from the sewing machine. After carefully measuring, pinning, realizing I twisted the strap so I unpinned, measured again, pinned to low... and on it went...

After the second time of putting it in the perfect place, but with a flipped strap I walked away.

By the way, the yellows and greens really don't look like they are pictured; for some reason they are brighter in the photos.

I do have one regret... Okay two, but I'm only going to point out one. My regret is making the door and curtains the same color in the second picture. If the top of the toadstool were maybe blue the double pink wouldn't be so bad. Hopefully someone loves it and really wants it. I know it should be easy and probably looks like it would be easy, but mixing and matching the scrap fabrics for the doors, windows, and dots is really hard. I fold or roll the fabric and lay it on top of the base or top of the toadstool over and over until I finally pick one.

I know I've posted it before (I did right?), but here's Kaitlyn Joy's backpack again.

She'll be using this next week as she heads off to K3. =)

The first picture is of a backpack I sold on Etsy last week. It went off to a three year old in Washington state.

Still Sewing

2010-08-18T08:46:00.005-05:00

I'm working on a couple backpacks right now. As you know from a former post I bucked up and put a few things on Etsy. My problem, which really isn't a problem, is that key items don't stay on there long. I posted a backpack and it sold in 24 hours. My other problem is that I must sew for the fun of it. Sure I could knock out a backpack in a day, but it would burn me out to do so. When sewing is no longer something I do to keep my hands busy or for fun then it will probably be something I give up. I sure don't want to fully burn out. I know last fall was hard for me. I felt like I needed to do it, but got to the point where I didn't care to touch it.

On a non-sewing note, I was talking to mom about diaper cakes. I tried making one for a baby shower once and it wasn't coming out so I went to plan B. Or was it plan A and the diaper cake was my rabbit trail? Maybe. I ended up making a diaper baby. Anyway, I told mom I want to tackle a diaper cake just to prove to myself I can do it. She doesn't see a point in doing so. A difference between mom and myself when it comes to crafts is that I'm driven to tackle those I find to be a challenge just to see if I can do them. Although it's been forever I even tried knitting. I just wanted to know how to do it. If I actually wanted to knit something I would have to pull out the how-to instructions again. So... a diaper cake. I need to learn how. I have an idea and really want to try it. I think my idea might work and actually make it pretty easy.

Prairie Flower Farm Giveaway

2010-08-17T10:07:00.003-05:00

Linda from Prairie Flower Farm is having a giveaway! Pop on over there before August 20th to see how you can win all the prizes pictured.

That Time Of Year Again

2010-08-17T09:17:00.003-05:00

Christmas Countdowns at WiddlyTinks.com

Every year around this time I start watching Kaitlyn Joy to see what she likes. It can take a while to find out what new things she's really into. I'm guessing her picks will change some after she enters school next week. And goodness the commercials... she's a sucker for them all. Suddenly her Zhu-Zhu pet needs a car and tunnels because the hamsters on TV love them. Just to mess with my head she saw a big doll at Walmart yesterday and had to play with it. FYI to all family members, she really doesn't care for dolls. She hasn't played with her favorite doll in a couple months. What's her big thing you ask? All those handheld learning games. Because of this yesterday I bought her the new Fisher Price iXL Learning System. Now I need to hunt down some of the "games" that go with it.

Last year I made most of the Christmas gifts we gave away, but I've decided to do gift cards this year. I know it's so personal in all. Doing this will help me craft Christmas decor like I wanted to do last year. And seeing how we took their choice away last year this year they can pick their own gifts. On that note I should start buying those too.

Anniversaries

2010-08-09T20:53:00.004-05:00

We passed two anniversaries this week and I didn't blog about them... I know I'm such a faithful blogger you guys are all shocked right. LOL... Well, August 2nd was Neal and I's seventh anniversary. Yep seven years. That sounds like such a long time yet is doesn't feel like it's been seven years. Some fun facts for you: Kaitlyn Joy has been with us for just over half our marriage, we've spent most of our married life living overseas and other then a couple months the rest has been spent in Texas. Okay that's all I can think of. Hmmm... We've spent most of our marriage trying to get pregnant. Wow that's really true. That's kind of sad. I guess there was eight months of being knocked up and two months after until we were ready to try again. So here we are seven years, one child, two dogs (one now lives with my parents), and a mortgage later. I wonder where we will be living in another seven years?

Oh the mortgage, that brings me to our other anniversary. August 6th marks one year since we closed on our house. We bought the house knowing we will only be here until Kaitlyn Joy turns eight and her orthopedic surgeon releases her. It fits us well though. If we have another baby while here I'll have to move everything in the craft room to my bedroom. It will make thing interesting, but a child is worth it.

VBS

2010-07-29T15:21:00.002-05:00

We are four days into VBS and guess what? My child has a strong personality. Who would have guessed? I have no idea where she gets that from. =p Really though, my hope was that she would be better for strangers, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

On day one she didn't stay with her group at one point so the teacher had to go get her. While being carried back to the group she said "I hurt! I hurt! I hurt!" Since having her last surgery she learned if she says "I hurt" we typically or perhaps I should say used to stop what we were doing to see what hurts. Now her crying wolf gets old. I told the teacher that's just her wolf call and to ignore it unless she just fell down and/or blood is present.

Seeing how "awful" doesn't even begin to explain how terrible Kaitlyn Joy has been since we got back from Minnesota I decided not to put her poor VBS teacher through any more torture if day two went bad. To give you a tiny glimpse into her attitude for two days in a row I walked out of stores leaving my merchandise behind. One of those times she was in full meltdown mode. So for whoever asked if Kaitlyn Joy is worse after a trip the answer is YES! However, thankfully the biggest, demanding issues seems to be calming down. So maybe I won't have to mail her to my parents after all.

After day two I asked her teacher how it went. She said something along the lines of, "Kaitlyn *fiercely protects her personal space." Now, the actual word she used I'm not sure of, but what she was really saying is Kaitlyn Joy is aggressive if you get within her three foot radius (aka personal space). Beyond the personal space issue the teacher only had good things to say so we let her go back.

On day three she hit a little girl, but for the life of me I couldn't find out why. And yes I did get her to say she was sorry. I'm not sure if the little girl did something or Kaitlyn Joy just felt like a smack "just because" seemed like a good idea.

Today went off without a hitch. At least not one that I heard about anyway. I am a bit puzzled though... this was day four and she hasn't come home with anything more then stories of Daniel & the Lion's Den. Not one drawing or craft project. Maybe she'll bring something home tomorrow? Time will tell.

Etsy & MOPS International

2010-07-25T11:33:00.005-05:00

I sold my first item on Etsy this week! Woohoo! Yes it's only one item, but it's a start. I sent an Elmo hair clip off to MOPS International last week for the convention coming up the first week of August. They will use it and all their other donations as giveaways. It sounds like they are giving them away on Twitter and Facebook, but seeing how they are taking everything to Florida for the convention I'm wondering if they will be giving some away there too.

Alright I need to go find something to do with my preschooler. She's bored and Neal's not feeling well. Those are not a good combo.